Sunday, June 19, 2016

Mass shootings and gun control: What can we do?

I wanted to wait a week before ranting about this horrible tragedy. My prayers go out to the victims and their families. One of the victims, Geraldo Jimenez-Ortiz, attended McCaskey High for a few months. Although I didn't know this young man personally when I taught there, my thoughts go out to his family and friends in the Lancaster area.

I wanted to comment on a few things I observed and make a few points.

1. The shooting and the weapons: The shooter used a handgun and a Sig Sauer MCX assault weapon. (not an AR-15 as was originally reported). Semiautomatic assault weapons like the AR-15, and similar weapons made by Kalashnikov and Sig Sauer are lightweight, accurate, and, simply put, are weapons of war specifically designed to maim a lot of people in a short period of time. They were banned from 1994-2004. The ban expired because of lack of action by Congress. Since then, assault weapons have been responsible for scores of civilian killings, including last week's shooting in Orlando, and the massacre in Sandy Hook Elementary a few years ago in which 20 first graders were murdered. There is no reason these assault weapons should be legal and available to civilians.

2. Like the Sith, the NRA and the gun lobby only deal in absolutes. All the NRA and Trump (until recently) have been saying is that Obama and Hillary want to repeal the Second Amendment, and Obama and Hillary want to take our guns. Dead wrong on both counts. First of all, an amendment has only been repealed once. In order to repeal an amendment, you need to create another amendment declaring the previous amendment null and void, which requires a 2/3 vote of Congress, and ratification by 38 of the 50 state legislatures. In other words, this is nearly impossible. Although the Constitution has been amended 27 times (the first ten amendments were passed together as the Bill of Rights), only one amendment repealed a previous amendment. Also, President Obama and Hillary Clinton do believe in people's rights to own a gun for protection, and they won't be knocking on doors any time soon. What they want to do is pass some common sense reforms to make sure guns don't get into the wrong hands, and prevent more mass shootings from taking place. If someone can't get on a plane, they shouldn't be able to own a gun. If someone is suspected of being a terrorist, they shouldn't be able to own a gun. Assault weapons are weapons of war, and shouldn't be owned by civilians. However, the NRA and the gun lobby see any restriction, no matter how minor, as a violation of the Second Amendment and the Constitution, and they are a radical organization that refuses to compromise on anything. I am not going to get into the historical context of the Second Amendment, but George Takei made a great point that none of our rights under the Constitution are absolute. Even the First Amendment, which, as far as I am concerned, grants us the most important rights we have as Americans of free speech and expression, is not absolute. For example, you can't yell "Fire" an a crowded movie theater. You can't make threats. You can't give a speech that incites someone to commit a crime. These are reasonable restrictions, because in these examples, you are infringing on the rights of others. Similarly, the Second Amendment should not be absolute, and I think some reasonable restrictions are appropriate and necessary, and are not, as the NRA says, trampling on our fundamental rights as Americans.

3. Donald Trump could not possibly have done a worse job addressing this shooting. Trump's reaction to this tragedy only further underscores how this egotistical, mean-spirited person is unfit to be president. The role of the president after a tragedy like this is to become the consoler-in-chief, bring the country together, and help everyone get through this. President Obama and Hillary Clinton did exactly that. Trump, on the other hand, because the shooter happened to be Muslim, used the deaths of 49 people to further his political agenda, and reaffirm the preposterous argument that we should block Muslims from entering the U.S. First of all, this wouldn't help, because the shooter was born in New York City. Secondly, he was stressing that this person was an Islamic radical. None of Trump's base believes this, but it was determined that this person acted on his own, and became radicalized through Islamic propaganda on the Internet. My personal take is radical Islam may have been part of it, or only just an excuse to carry out this act, but the bottom line is this was a deranged man, and he committed this horrific act because he was a self-loathing homosexual, and killing 49 people was the best way to take out his frustrations (here is an interesting and depressing article on the shooter's background). Banning Muslims and deporting illegal immigrants will not stop mass shootings from happening, nor will it stop acts of terrorism on U.S. soil. Of course, what Trump says, no matter how outrageous, he will still retain the support of his base which consists of white supremacists, racists, Islamophobes, assholes, people who think Obama should be impeached for god knows what even though he has fewer than 8 months in office, idiot "birthers" who think Obama wasn't born in this country (who should have been paying attention to Ted Cruz's upbringing), people who think Hillary should be arrested, and even some well-meaning people who are fed up with politics as usual and want to see a change (Trust me folks, this is not the change you want). This latest blunder has turned a lot of independents and even some Republicans against him, but November is still a long way away, many people still consider Hillary Clinton to be a weak candidate, and it would be in the best interest of Americans to continue to do anything in their power to make sure Trump does not become president.

4. We are finally seeing some movement in Congress on the gun issue. Senator Chris Murphy, a Democrat from Connecticut (home of the Sandy Hook massacre), decided to launch a filibuster, and halt any Senate activity until they agreed to vote on gun control. Nearly 15 hours later, they agreed to vote on Monday (6/20) on banning people on the no-fly list and terror watch list from purchasing a gun. These measures will likely fail (update: they all failed), but at least some discussion is being generated. Even some Republican senators, like Pennsylvania's own Pat Toomey, are willing to cross the aisle and vote for certain proposals, like the compromise currently being authored by Republican Senator Susan Collins. Even Trump expressed a desire to talk to the NRA, who are endorsing him, and tell them that he doesn't agree with all of their positions. First of all, unlike that colossal douchebag Ted Cruz, Sen. Murphy filibustered for the good of the country, and not to make himself look good.  Sen. Murphy is a young, idealistic politician, and he needs to move up the ranks and become one of the leaders in the Senate, and phase out wastes of space like Harry Reid, who has been in the Senate since the Reagan Administration, and has done exactly squat to help Obama. Maybe, if he proves himself and gets his name out there, he, along with some other young, ambitions politicians like Republican Ben Sasse, could even run for president in 2024. (Or 2020, if Trump wins and the world doesn't end). The sit-in by members of the House also shows how fed up some of our lawmakers are with the complete lack of action on gun control.

5. What happens next? As I said earlier, the proposals up for vote Monday will likely fail. More mass shootings will happen, and the cycle will start all over again. It is up to the American people at the ballot box if they want anything to happen. They need to know which politicians are in the NRA's pocket and either vote them out, or prevent them from getting voted in. The vote on Monday will be very telling as to who stands where. This would mean voting out some longtime representatives and senators like Tom Coburn (Oklahoma) and Pennsylvania's own Jim Gerlach, who are in the pocket of the NRA bigwigs. That is the only way to stop the NRA and the gun lobby. Also, lobbying groups on the other side of the issue, like Everytown for Gun Safety, are beginning to galvanize people and gain power. The majority of Americans want stricter gun control, and we need to elect officials that share our views, and refuse to be bullied by the NRA.

6. Parting thoughts: The ministers who said that the victims were sodomites who deserved to die are not real Christians. Also, the people who are moaning and groaning about the "bathroom bills," (I am looking at you, "Christian" conservatives), need to keep their mouths shut and realize we have bigger problems in this country. Real Christians need to pray for the victims and their families, and take action to try and prevent tragedies like this from becoming common occurrences.

Thursday, June 2, 2016

The top 10... Funniest movie scenes!

All I based this list on were scenes that made me laugh out loud. Most of these scenes were from some of the funniest movies ever made. One scene was even from a movie that wasn't a comedy. I did not put any unintentionally funny scenes on this list, or "so bad they're funny" scenes from movies like "Road House" or "Superman IV: The Quest For Peace." For those of you looking for classic comedy like Buster Keaton or Charlie Chaplin, I will be honest and say I haven't seen their movies, although I hear they are very funny. Finally, most of these video clips are NSFW. In no particular order, here we go.





The sheriff is a n(ding!): Blazing Saddles (1974).


As I mentioned earlier, this is a scene from one of the funniest movies ever made. I could have picked a half-dozen scenes from Mel Brooks' western spoof. The sniveling bad guys, including Hedy, I mean Hedley Lamarr (Harvey Korman), want to build a railroad, but have to clear out a town to do it. In a movie that could never get made in politically correct 2016, Gov. LePetomane (Brooks) comes up with the idea of sending the town a black sheriff, hoping that the townspeople will abandon the town or hang the sheriff, allowing the state to take over. The sheriff comes to town for the first time. First of all, a man with a telescope is interrupted by chimes as he tells everyone the sheriff is African American (but not in those exact words). He then gets up to speak in front of the shocked townspeople, and, as he gets the governor's proclamation out of his pants, he says "excuse me while I whip this out," and everyone screams. The script, partially written by the late Richard Pryor, is racy and hilarious.


The Rumble: Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)

First of all, can you believe this movie is 12 years old? Sheesh. In this scene, dimwitted weatherman Brick (Steve Carell) gets the Channel 4 news team lost in one of San Diego's scarier neighborhoods. There they meet their rivals from other San Diego news channels, along with public television (No commercials, no mercy!) and the Spanish language channel (Como estas, bitches!). Things escalate quickly. There were horses, a man on fire, and Brick killed a guy with a trident. This parody of West Side Story, with some surprise cameos, is downright hilarious. They tried to one-up this scene in Anchorman 2, and didn't come close.



The Rabbit and the Holy Hand Grenade: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table must face a fearsome beast who is guarding the grail. It turns out the beast is a rabbit. This isn't just any rabbit though. It decapitates one person, and kills and severely wounds several others. To get rid of this foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent (Yes, I know. I am quoting the movie here), they use the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. To use the Holy Hand Grenade, you must pull the pin, count to three, no more, no less, and release it. Not four, definitely not five, but three. Again, I could have picked any number of uproarious scenes from this movie such as the Black Knight, The Knights Who Say "Nee", and the end of the movie. Even the first scene, when Arthur comes over the hill without a horse banging two coconut shells together, had me laughing for a good minute. (this happened because they couldn't afford horses with the movie's low budget). Still, to this day, my lovely wife just doesn't see the humor in this movie.



The opening credits: Deadpool (2016)

Even before any of Deadpool's famous fourth-wall breaks or pop-culture references ("I'm about to do to you what Limp Biskit did to music in the late 90s" comes to mind), this movie already had me rolling right from the beginning. The credits roll as the camera moves through a chaotic 3-D freeze frame of a car accident, where we see Deadpool teabagging a badguy, and yanking another villain's pants down. However, the credits are obviously written from Deadpool's point of view, because the movie is a film by "some douchebag," and stars "God's perfect idiot," "A hot chick," "A British villain" and "A CGI character," among others. The movie is produced by "asshats" and written by "the real heroes here." This is all set to the tune of Juice Newton's "Angel of the Morning." For the record, I am calling this movie a comedy.



The Golf Course Airhorn: Jackass: The Movie (2002)

This movie, with the Jackass guys doing real stupid stunts in real life, was so funny, that even many movie critics liked it despite the complete lack of a plot or script. I wasn't too much of a fan of the gross-out stuff that included bodily functions, but what did make me laugh was the gang harassing uptight golfers. One guy even go so angry that he started to throw a club and hit balls at the Jackass crew. When confronted by the irate duffers, Johnny Knoxville said he couldn't help it because he had bursitis.


MATT DAMON!: Team America: World Police (2004)

This movie, by "South Park" creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone, featured marionettes. Many of these marionettes were impersonated celebrities including Alec Baldwin, Michael Moore, Tim Robbins, and George Clooney. Then, there is Matt Damon. The story is that the marionette of Matt Damon looked so goofy that they decided the only words Matt Damon would say were "Matt Damon!" The real Matt Damon wasn't offended at all, and thought this was hilarious.


The Naked Brawl: Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006)

Kazakh reporter Borat Sagdiyev finds his producer Azamat, well, pleasuring himself to a book featuring Borat's dream girl, Pamela Anderson. The two men, neither of whom are in ideal physical shape, get into a somewhat homoerotic fight without any clothes on. They end up running through a hotel, and into a packed convention ballroom where the two naked men are finally subdued by police. You can't really appreciate this scene until you see it.

The Baby Ruth bar: Caddyshack (1980)

At the Bushwood Country Club pool, someone throws a Baby Ruth chocolate bar in the water. Most people think it's something much more disgusting, and the pool clears out quickly. The capper to this scene is when dimwitted greenskeeper Carl Spackler (Bill Murray) cleans out the pool, finds the candy bar and eats it while everyone else is revolted. This classic scene was based on a real incident at the high school of writer-actor Brian Doyle-Murray.




Pow!: Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

Here's the non-comedy I was talking about before. In this brief, but hilarious scene, Indiana Jones is confronted by a swordsman who is swinging his blade in all directions, ready for a fight. Indiana Jones pulls out a gun and shoots him. Some of you know the story, but I am going to tell it anyway. Much of the cast and crew, including star Harrison Ford, were stricken with dysentery while on the set. This was supposed to be an elaborate sword fight, but Ford was so sick, he said to director Steven Spielberg, "What if I just shoot the guy?" The rest, as they say, is history.
 
Enrico Pallazzo: The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad (1988)

A player under the influence of mind control is planning to shoot the Queen of England at an Angels game. Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) needs to get on the field and foil the assassin. To get on the field, he knocks out world famous opera singer Enrico Pallazzo. He then butchers the Star-Spangled Banner, calls the game as an umpire, and eventually saves the queen's life. There's a great payoff when Frank Drebin takes off his mask after saving the queen, and someone in the crowd yells, "Hey! It's Enrico Pallazzo!" and the crowd starts chanting his name.