Fleet car review: 2016 Chevrolet Impala Limited

Pros:
Good, powerful engine
Surprisngly good fuel economy
Easy to drive
Looks inoffensive
Big trunk

Cons:
Low tech, low features
Cheap interior
Hard to feel the power
Not a sports car by any means
Not that big on the inside
Calling it "long in the tooth" would be a major understatement

First of all, the Impala was replaced in 2014 with a much better car. You know the car is good because it was rated very high by Consumer Reports, and is not a Honda, Toyota or Subaru. They decided to let the old Impala soldier on as the "Impala Limited" until 2016 as a fleet-only car, similar to the Chevrolet Classic (an old Malibu) and the Chevrolet Captiva (a Saturn Vue).

I work for a very large organization that happens to have a large fleet of cars at its disposal. They range from the full electric Nissan Leaf to gigantic 15-passenger vans. Since three of us were traveling about 2 hours to a conference in Hershey, PA, we took the Impala Limited, a full-size sedan. Naturally, I volunteered to drive because I know my way around Hershey, and I love cars and love to drive. Let's get into the nitty-gritty about this car:

Exterior styling: If it was any more generic, you might as well put the word "Car" on the grille. It's an improvement over the obnoxious, NASCAR-inspired 2000-2006 version of the Impala. For this version, they probably benchmarked the Camry and Accord to make this one of the most conservative and inconspicuous cars on the planet. It pretty much gets lost in the crowd. The 2014 restyle was a huge improvement for this car.

Interior styling and features: If you thought the exterior was a yawner, wait until you look inside. Cheap, hard plastics, blatantly phony wood trim, old tech and components from the GM parts bin are everywhere. The cloth seats are flat and soft like an easy chair. Considering this is Chevy's largest sedan, the level of content is rental-grade pitiful. There is no navigation, remote engine start, backup camera, seat heaters, steering wheel audio controls, automatic climate control, or sunroof. Even the radio is the base unit, and does not have the station presets displayed on the screen. At least there is an auxiliary jack. The steering wheel is cheap rubber with a big hub to hold the airbag. Newer cars can pack an airbag into a smaller wheel. There are buttons to shift the automatic transmission, but they are nearly invisible, hidden behind the cruise control buttons. From what I hear, they don't work anyway.

Performance: The one bright spot of this car is the engine. It uses GM's sophisticated DOHC 3.6 liter V6, which puts out 305 hp in the Impala. You can't really feel it, since everything about this car, including the acceleration, is pillowy and smooth. The engine and six-speed automatic keep the car moving well, and I was never at a loss for passing power. The ride and handling are also pillowy. Understeer is very noticeable, and this was not built to be a performance car. Brakes respond, but it feels like you are stepping on a pile of mashed potatoes.

Fuel economy: Excellent. The car did have a decent (but not very user-friendly) trip computer. The mileage was in the low 30s. I realize these were almost entirely highway miles, but that's awesome for a full-size car with a big V6.

Safety: Comes with ABS, traction control and a full complement of airbags. Received 4-star crash ratings and "good" ratings across the board. There are safer cars out there, but the Impala limited is more than adequate.

Space/utility: Because this platform dates back to 2000, It is big on the outside, but not as big on the inside. 3 of us rode in the car. The woman sitting in the back seat was about 5 feet, 3 inches tall, so she had plenty of room. The back seat was adequate, but not huge. The trunk, on the other hand, was large, and had no problem swallowing all of our bags. 

Value: Since this is a fleet car, you can't buy it at a Chevy dealership. However, because these cars are not in demand, you can find a used one for a good price, usually in the low teens. Be careful, though, and check the Carfax. Some fleet cars get the crap beaten out of them. 

Would I recommend it to other people: Yes. Not to put too fine a point on it, but this would be a good car for old people, especially since the Grand Marquis is gone and a new Toyota Avalon, or even a Camry or Accord can be well over $30,000. It is conservative, it is quick, it is easy to drive, and it is more than big enough to hold the grandchildren and shuttle them to the Golden Corral and be home in time for "Matlock." Also, it lacks a lot of those "newfangled doodads" That confuse geriatrics (look for stories that talk about what old heads think of Ford Sync or Cadillac CUE). Those looking for a performance car or something fun to drive should look elsewhere.

75,000 miles of life with a minivan

We just got rid of our 2011 Dodge Grand Caravan after 4 years of driving, two vacations down South, two kids, and all kinds of cargo from strollers, Pack and Plays, bicycles and a big honking bass drum. I thought I would share my overall impressions of the van, even though I don't do impressions.

2011 Dodge Caravan Crew

The Good:
Good value for the money
Plenty of power
Handles well - for a minivan
Unparalleled practicality
Good, functional design, inside and out

The Bad:
Transmission woes
Eats brakes
Awful resale value
Mediocre fuel economy

So first of all, why did we buy a Dodge minivan? Until 2011, I wouldn't even have thought about buying this product. In 2011, the Caravan got a major refresh inside and out. First of all, the well-engineered Pentastar 3.6 liter V6 with variable valve timing became the only available engine. In the Caravan, it puts out 282 horsepower, which, at the time, made it the most powerful minivan you could buy. They also worked on the chassis so it handled better, and completely refreshed the interior. I liked what I saw, was surprised how well it drove, and was thousands of dollars cheaper than comparably equipped Siennas and Odysseys (Although I found out the hard way you pay for that down the road).

Exterior styling: It's a van. A basic two-box design you can only do so much with. Honda tried to take some chances with the goofy lightning-bolt styling of the Odyssey, and the result is not pretty. That having been said, the Caravan is a clean, inoffensive design. The tracks for the sliding doors are wisely integrated into the bottom of the window so it doesn't cut into the middle of the van. 

Interior styling and features: Before 2011, the Caravan's interior was a cheap, plasticky mess. This was when Fiat and Sr. Marchionne stepped in, said this was unacceptable, and revamped the interiors of several products, including the Caravan. The interior is not luxurious, but clean and inoffensive (see the theme here?). The surfaces have an upscale feel to them, and use decent-quality plastics. The fake-chrome metal inserts are a nice touch. The best design is in the steering wheel, which has controls for the trip computer and cruise control. There are also rocker switches on the back side of the wheel that let you control the volume and tuning for the radio. The display between the tach and speedometer showed trip information and fuel economy information (if you want to be depressed), and could even function as a digital speedometer if you so desired. There are speakers all over the car. The radio sounds clear, even at a loud volume, and is, frankly, one of the best OEM radios I have ever heard. The automatic climate controls were easy to use and worked well. The touch screen was an older unit, and wasn't the most user friendly system. For example, it had a built-in hard drive for music. In order to put music on the hard drive, you had to burn music from the computer on to a CD, and import the music from the CD on to the hard drive, a time-consuming process. There is a headphone jack and a USB jack. The USB jack was virtually useless, because it charged my iPhone so slowly, or not at all if it was in use. But, like any other infotainment system, it was fine when you got used to it. Power jacks, including a 110-volt plug, and cupholders are everywhere. 

Performance: All Chrysler minivans (and their mechanical twin, the slow-selling Volkswagen Routan), regardless of trim level, come with the aforementioned Pentastar engine. This is a great engine with lots of power and flexibility. The van accelerates smoothly and briskly, and has plenty of passing power. The chassis also got a much-needed overhaul. The van handles like a much smaller vehicle, and the steering feel is great considering this is a van. Then there is the transmission. Although the engine is new, they kept the old 6-speed automatic transmission. From the beginning, shifts were rough. There was a voluntary recall for a quick fix for the transmission that seemed to work. During the van's time with us, we needed two major transmission repairs. One for the powertrain control module, and another for the torque converter. The second repair took more than a week, but the dealership went above and beyond and provided us with a really nice loaner car. Thank goodness the van had a 10 year/100,000 mile powertrain warranty. This is when I also vowed that I would not keep this vehicle past 100,000 miles. Major transmission breakdowns are unacceptable on a car with this few miles on it, so I am glad Chrysler backed its product with a good warranty. They have since shortened the warranty to 5 years/60,000 miles. I am not sure if that is a good idea, because Chrysler, especially their cars, are not selling well right now. The brakes were responsive and did their job, but here is the other major problem with this car. During the 75,000 miles we had it, we replaced the brakes three times. I am told we had to do this because they put the same brakes on the van as they put on their cars. In other words, this 4,300 pound vehicle has the same brakes as a tiny Dart. The van did well in the snow. It is front-wheel drive, and the vehicle's weight kept it stuck to the road.

Fuel economy: Mediocre, but I understand this is a heavy vehicle with a large V-6. We live in a rural area, and we got roughly 20-22 miles per gallon for typical driving. When we were on vacation racking up major highway miles, mileage increased to 25-26 mpg. This still pales in comparison to our other car, a 4-cylinder Subaru Legacy, which gets 28-30 mpg.

Safety: Has airbags everywhere, traction control and stability control. The car performed well in the standard crash tests. Where it suffered was the offset crash test. The driver's compartment was nearly crushed, and the dummy's leg was impaled on the foot-operated parking brake. Ouch!

Space/utility: Can carry 7 passengers and a ton of cargo comfortably. On our first trip down south, there were 4 of us, a stroller, a wagon, and a week's worth of clothes. The "super console" up front had two storage cubbies and a cupholder. There was also a large drawer that pulled out with lots of space and twin cupholders for the second row. Finally, the van has stow and go seating, meaning the third and second row of seats folded into the floor, so you could have a flat floor behind the first row without having to lug any seats out of the car. The stow and go was relatively easy to use, but you had to push the front seats all the way forward so you can fold up the floor and fold the seats. Another handy feature is the hidden cargo area under the second row when the seats are up, which I called the "Millenium Falcon Secret Storage Area." For the record, I never stored anything illegal or myself in those compartments. Even with all seats up, the cargo area had plenty of room for groceries and such. With the seats down, we were able to store all sorts of things ranging from couches, mattresses and my concert band's bass drum. One time, when the house was bring fumigated, we used the van as a temporary storage bin to hold all of our dishes and silverware. I am definitely going to miss the room and practicality this van offers.

Value: Very aggressively priced, and significantly cheaper than comparably equipped Honda and Toyota minivans. The base Caravan, which still has the Pentastar engine, power everything, and all safety features, starts at $23,595. We had the Crew, which was nicely equipped with color screen for infotainment and a backup camera, automatic 3-zone climate control, and second-row captain's chairs. This sold for about $28-30,000 new. However, you will pay for it down the road when you go to sell the vehicle, because the resale value is awful. 

Would I recommend it to other people: Unfortunately, no. The van had tons of space, and I loved the way it van rode and drove, and it was a good value for the money. I would not recommend it because of the transmission problems. We had to get rid of it at 100,000 miles, because I didn't want to be stuck with a minivan with high mileage and in need of a $2,000 transmission repair. I would recommend purchasing an extended warranty to cover transmission repairs. Buy it from Chrysler, not the dealership when you are talking to the finance manager. The resale value was already bad enough with the car in good working order. The brakes were also a major headache, and got quite expensive.

The future: The 2017 Chrysler Pacifica is already out there. It looks great for a van, with Chrysler styling cues, and a sloped windshield. The inside is equally as attractive. The engine carries over, but they switched to the 9-speed transmission. This is the transmission in the Jeep that was blamed for killing "Chekov," when he accidentally left his vehicle in neutral, but they seemed to have worked most of the bugs out of this tranny, and the Pacifica uses a rotary knob to select the gear instead of the hockey stick-like lever on the Grand Cherokee and the Charger. All-wheel drive is not available yet, but they designed the chassis so they can put in AWD down the road. Reviews are good so far, but we will have to see how it stacks up against the competition, including the redesigned Honda Odyssey. The Caravan with the current body style soldiers on, and, if you want to drive it, it is likely available at an Enterprise counter near you.

NFL Week 4: The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

THE GOOD

The Eagles didn't lose: They didn't win either, because they didn't play. They are among the first teams to have a bye week. I wasn't too happy, because they could lose momentum after an unexpected 3-0 start. On Sunday, they play the struggling Detroit Lions. Most people believe Carson Wentz and the offense will rip through the Lions' defense. I think this is looking more and more like a trap game. Coach Doug Pederson is aware of that too, and claims he is making sure the team isn't too complacent, and will, as Coach Herm says, play to win the game on Sunday.

Falcons putting up Tecmo Bowl stats: QB Matt Ryan, formerly of Exton, PA gunslings for 503 yards, and a passer rating of 142, which is not far from the perfect 158.3 rating. Norm Van Brocklin's 1964 record of 554 yards still stands. WR Julio Jones racked up 300 yards receiving, beating his own franchise record. He is only the sixth receiver to hit the 300-yard mark. Flipper Anderson's 336-yard performance in 1989 still holds the record.

Rex gets to brag: The Patriots were shut out at home! By the Bills! This is the first time the Patsies were shut out in the 135-game history of Gillette Stadium. I don't think this will be a regular occurrence, though. Next week they get Tom Brady back from suspension and they play the lowly Browns. (see below)

So, there is life in Pittsburgh after all: After the Steelers were thumped by the Eagles, they came back this week to squash the Chiefs, a potential playoff team, 43-14. Big Ben, who was rendered virtually useless last week, throws 5 TD passes.

THE BAD

This week in the Mistake by the Lake: Actually, not too much to complain about here. Rookie QB Cody Kessler could have looked much worse, and Isaiah Crowell rushed for 120 yards. Still, they were outrun and outscored by the Potomac Basin Indigenous Peoples' offense. Next week, they will face a Patriots squad who will be mad coming out of a shutout loss and will have Tom Brady back. (see above)

John Kuhn: His mere existence is the bane of fantasy players. The Saints fullback scored 3 TDs - One 4-yard catch and two 1-yard runs, taking scores and points away from the team's high-profile receivers and running backs.

No Fitz-Magic: The Jets QB's Harvard education must not have taught him to throw footballs to his own team, because he had 3 picks in a loss to the Seahawks, and nine in the past two weeks. Another performance like this, and he will likely be surfing the bench.

THE UGLY

Adventures in officiating: The referees continue to make sure this is the No Fun League. Cam Newton was flagged for making a first-down signal with his hands. The ref was probably thinking, "Hey! That's my job!" Josh Norman was penalized AND fined 10 grand for pantomiming shooting a bow and arrow... On the sideline! He wasn't even on the field! He is appealing the fine. Jags receiver Allen Robinson was flagged for spinning the ball. However, Jacksonville QB Blake Bortles was not flagged for punting a ball into the stands. The refs need to calm down. Not only are they taking the fun out of the game, these are also 15-yard penalties that can change the course of the game. Players need to be a little more aware of what they are doing, and refs don't need to throw the flag every single time a player celebrates.

Injury report: This week was ugly. Cam Newton is probably out this week with a concussion. Trevor Siemian, who has been impressive as Peyton Manning's replacement, hurt his non-throwing shoulder. Cardinals QB Carson Palmer may also be out with a concussion, which is the last thing the 1-3 Cards need right now (although they won with Drew Stanton this week).

Top drafted QBs: No. 2 pick Carson Wentz is 3-0 with the Eagles and was named the NFL offensive rookie of the month. No. 1 pick Jared Goff was mediocre in training camp, has watched Case Keenum stary every game and has not taken a snap. Could this be the next Ryan Leaf?