Football weeks 11-14: Ugh!

It has been a busy few weeks in both college and pro football. Let's jump into it.

We are... Big Ten Champions! Penn State was able rally in the second half and beat Wisconsin to win the Big Ten title and the overall No. 5 ranking. Much to the chagrin of Nittany Lions fans, they did not make the college football playoff, with the no. 3 seed awarded to Ohio State and the 4th spot going to Washington. Penn State still goes to the Rose Bowl on New Years' Day. I can't say I disagree with the playoff selections. Penn State may have won the conference, and beat Ohio State in a head-to head matchup. I think they were doomed by their 2-2 start to the season and the loss to Pitt, which, in the end, was a strong football team. Still, the Lions are going to a high-profile New Years' Day bowl, and most importantly, the team is back on the national stage. Since the awful events of 2011, Penn State has been viewed as a joke and an afterthought. When Michigan coach and all-around douche Jim Harbaugh was asked what he thought of Penn State, his response was "I don't." Suffice it to say Penn State football is back in a big way, and they are only going to get better from here on out (not a guarantee).

Now to the pro game:

The Philly Phumblers: Tough times for the Eagles. They have dropped 4 in a row and are now 5-8. Although it is mathematically possible, it would take an act of God for the Eagles to get to the playoffs. Their first three games were incredible, and rookie QB Carson Wentz looked great. Although Wentz has a future with this team, he needs more experience before he can lead this team to the playoffs. He is a little shaky, and he turns the ball over too much, evident after the game-ending sack/fumble against the Potomac Basin Indegenous People on Sunday. I was pretty upset when Fox sportscaster Howie "Action Goes Long*" laid into the Eagles, saying the QB was green, there are no great receivers, they don't know how to finish games, and will be lucky to go 8-8 for the season. The worst part is everything he said is 100 percent accurate. The Eagles need receivers who will catch the ball, a consistent running game, a better pass rush, and a willingness to play for 60 minutes. Few things are more frustrating than dropped passes in the end zone, and a long kick return TD to be negated by an illegal block in the back penalty.

Snapper wanted: The Eagles couldn't kick a field goal because both of their long snappers were injured. They had a few players on the sidelines practicing long snaps. Trey Burton eventually got the job. His snap was high, but punter Donnie Jones got it down so Caleb Sturgis could make the FG in the fourth quarter.

Bell ringer: The Steelers took a must-win game against the Bills, thanks mostly to Le'Veon Bell, who broke a bunch of franchise records with 298 all-purpose yards, more than the entire Bills offense (he also scored 70 fantasy points for my opponent). I suggest the Ryan brothers enjoy their time in Buffalo while they still can. If the Bills lose to the Browns this weekend, they should start packing.

The axe has fallen: People who have been waiting years for pro football to return to the City of Angels are, well, still waiting. After a 4-9 season and a 42-14 loss to Atlanta, coach Jeff Fisher is sacked, and special teams coach John Fassel takes over as interim coach. Michigan coach Jim Harbaugh is a realistic possibility to take over permanantly.  Fisher will be the first of several coaching casualties this season.  On the other hand, 49ers management has insisted that coach Chip Kelly will be back next season.

The Pack is Back: After many people wrote off the Packers as having a legitimate shot this year, they make a big statement by routing the Seahawks 38-10, with a strong offense and defense. Russell Wilson gives another pitiful performance, throwing a career-high 5 picks, and laying another egg for my fantasy team, who has lost 4 of their last 5.

Wardrobe Malfunction: Last week, Panthers coach Ron Rivera benched QB Cam Newton for violating the team's dress code policy. Coach Rivera made his point, but at what cost? On Sunday, Newton and Rivera hugged after the national anthem. Aww.

Let it Snow: Unsurprisingly, it snowed in Buffalo during the Steelers-Bills tilt. They threw rubber pellets on the turf to soften the field. The start of the second half was delayed to remove the pellets from the field. Some smart aleck on the Steelers sideline wrote "No Shit" with their foot on the sideline, and the CBS camera caught it. Whoopsie.

Hot Feet: Baltimore kicker Justin Tucker (no relation) was 3-for-3 on 50-plus yard field goals in week 12 vs. the Bengals. He hit another long shot last week vs. the Dolphins. He finally revealed himself to be human on Monday when a 34-yard attempt was blocked by the Patriots. Texans kicker Nick Novak was 5-for-5 during the Moo Cows' road win Sunday.

The Cowgirls are human after all: The Giants were able to snap Dallas' 11-game win streak, and prevented them from clinching the division. I realize the Cowboys are playoff-bound no matter what happens in December, but this still brings a big smile to my face. This also opens the door for Detroit, yes, the Lions, to become the No. 1 seed in the NFC and earn a first-round bye in the playoffs. Also, Jerry Jones has said that, even though Romo is now healthy, he will serve as the backup to rookie Dak Prescott, who obviously has the hot hand. Romo is not surprised and he is being a gentleman, unlike Sam Bradford, who had a hissy fit after Carson Wentz was drafted. This tantrum got him traded, and he is just OK for the Vikings. Either Prescott or Zeke Elliott is a shoo-in for Rookie of the Year.

Three more games: That's all Cleveland needs to lose to go 0-16 and get a "celebratory" parade in the Mistake by the Lake. They are probably going to lose to the Chargers and the Steelers, but have a legitimate shot at beating the Bills this Sunday. On the other hand, RG3 is the starter for the remainder of the season.

Adventures in officiating: 

Excessive celebration? A player was flagged in Chicago for making a snow angel in the end zone. Raiders punter Marquette King is penalized for picking up the penalty flag and doing a funny dance with it.

Ouch! Redskins safety Deshazor Everett landed a helmet-to-helmet cheap shot on Eagles RB Ryan Mathews, knocking him out of consciousness and the game. Eagles players then went after Everett. He was given a 15-yard personal foul, when he should have been ejected from the game.

Which team? Jeff Triplette, the king of blown calls, borked another one Sunday when He called a hands-to-the-face penalty against the Lions when it clearly was a Bears defensive lineman committing the violation.

*"Action Goes Long" was the tagline for "Firestorm," a box office bomb starring Long. It was supposed to be a Stallone vehicle, but the studio went bust and couldn't afford Sly. I find the tagline amusing because Howie Long was a defensive end, not a wide receiver. Defensive ends don't catch passes, let alone long ones.

Football week 10: Great plays and great games!

This was a great weekend for football, both college and pro. I usually don't like college football,and I think the bowl system is a giant profit-motivated joke. This is one of the only times you will see me write about college ball.

A weekend of chaos: The No. 2, 3 and 4 teams all fell in upsets. Sadly, Nick Saban's No. 1 Alabama routed Mizzou. But Pitt Beat Clemson with a last-second field goal, Iowa did the same to Michigan, and out West, USC handed the Huskies their first loss. Meanwhile, Penn State had its win gift wrapped by Indiana, which lost five fumbles. A little background here... I work in student aid at Penn State. Many families are surprised to know that I am not an alum and generally couldn't care less about the football team. I wrote off this season after the loss to Pitt, assuming they would go 7-7 and end up in yet another bowl no one cares about or remembers. That all changed the night of October 22. They beat not only their most bitter Big Ten rival, but also the No. 2 ranked team. Fans stormed the field and trashed downtown State College. I then became a fan and I am now pulling for the No. 8 Lions to make a playoff run, which is unlikely but definitely possible.

Best play: Penn State runs a flea flicker. Sorry football experts, but I have to explain this one. In a flea flicker, the QB hands off to the running back, so the other team assumes there will be a running play and stacks up the line. But, the running back pitches the ball back to the quarterback, who then throws a deep pass because all the defenders are at or near the line trying to stop the run. This either works spectacularly or fails epically. This one worked, because it was a score for the Lions.

Off-the-field fun: I was fascinated by an off-the-field pickup game between a bunch of kids during which a football got caught in a tree. They then attempted to throw a second football up there to get the first ball down, and the result was two stuck footballs. The kids threw their friend "Hunter the Punter" under the bus. They then tried to throw a shoe, and climbed the fence. ESPN even sent a camera and their sideline reporter over there to cover the hijinks. The cops got involved and the kids got their ball back.

If Penn State runs the table by beating Rutgers and Michigan State (very possible), they could face Ohio State again in the Big Ten East Championship, and then get into the playoff. I didn't expect them to be so good this season, but we are starting to see Coach James Franklin's recruits show their skills. The reason JoePa's teams were so good was because of recruiting, and we may be seeing that again with Franklin.

On to the NFL: There was also plenty of action in the grownup leagues as well.

Yes Virginia, the Eagles have a ground game: They didn't win in dramatic fashion on a last-second field goal, but this is an important win because, for the first time, they committed to the run. The three-headed running monster of Darren Sproles, Ryan Mathews and rookie Wendell Smallwood combined for 208 rushing yards and three TDs. Since the Birds' receivers are mediocre, this adds a whole new dimension to their game. Yet, they are somehow still last in the NFC East at 5-4. And Carson Wentz is still having a decent season, and would be a serious contender for rookie of the year if it wasn't for two hot rookies who play for the Cowboys.

Cowboys dominate: Big D won another one, this week in Pittsburgh, and are an amazing 8-1, with their single loss the result of a bonehead play on opening weekend. Dak Prescott and Ezeikel Elliott have re-energized this team and made them an offensive powerhouse. Jerry Jones said a now-healthy Tony Romo is the backup to Prescott. This is most definitely the right call, because you stick with the hot hand. Drew Bledsoe even said to Romo "This is what happens when you get injured." For those of you with short memories, Bledsoe was the No. 1 overall draft pick in 1993, and the Patriots envisioned him as their QB for the forseeable future. After signing a gigantic contract in 2001, he was badly injured and replaced by some guy named Tom Brady. We all know how that turned out. Don't count your chickens, Dallas fans... It's not December yet.

Halfback option: RB DeMarco Murray was a beast for the Cowboys. He then had trouble fitting into Coach Chip Kelly's offensive scheme playing for the Eagles. Since playing for the Titans this year, he has returned to form, and he is one of the top rushers in the NFL, second only to Zeke Elliott. During the Flaming Thumbtacks' blowout win over the Packers, Murray had a rushing TD, and even threw a TD pass. The 5-5 Titans are one of the most unpredictable teams in the NFL. Because of the 47-25 win over the Packers, longtime coach Mike McCarthy's job is now in jeopardy.

Down in the Dumps: Da Bears are 2-7, and many optimistic Chicago fans think they will end up 2-14. At least they can draft a decent QB with a record like that. Still, the Cubbies won the World Series. God continues to hate the city of Cleveland, who may very well be the first 0-16 team since the 2008 Lions, and the Browns don't even need Matt Millen to foul things up. A Cleveland fan wants to have a parade if the Browns go 0-16. I say why the hell not?

Jared Who? We all know Carson Wentz was the No. 2 pick this season, and he is having a great run as a rookie. The No. 1 pick was Jared Goff, another quarterback. So far he has been the backup behind Case Keenum. Since the L.A. Rams offense is so inept, they will play him this weekend against the Dolphins, looking for some kind of spark.

So this is a 2-point play now? The Broncos-Saints game ended in dramatic fashion. The Broncos blocked an extra point as time expired, and ran it all the way back to their end zone. This was counted as a 2-point conversion, and the walk-off win for Denver. Didn't this used to be a 6-point play?

How bad are the Jets? Following the 9-6 loss to Los Angeles, apparently they are so bad that the Pats-Jets game was yanked from NBC's Sunday Night slot in Week 12. This is because of the Jets' inability to play professional-level ball and sagging TV ratings for the NFL. Supposedly, the Cards' 23-20 win over the 49ers was also a woofer.

Adventures in Officiating: This week, it's about the non-calls. Kam Chancellor and Earl Thomas weren't flagged after molesting Gronk, giving the Seahawks the unlikely win over the Pats. In the Eagles' win, the zebras missed a blatant helmet-to-helmet hit as Keanu Neal launched himself at Jordan Matthews. The Philly fans reacted accordingly.

Fleet car review: 2016 Chevrolet Impala Limited

Pros:
Good, powerful engine
Surprisngly good fuel economy
Easy to drive
Looks inoffensive
Big trunk

Cons:
Low tech, low features
Cheap interior
Hard to feel the power
Not a sports car by any means
Not that big on the inside
Calling it "long in the tooth" would be a major understatement

First of all, the Impala was replaced in 2014 with a much better car. You know the car is good because it was rated very high by Consumer Reports, and is not a Honda, Toyota or Subaru. They decided to let the old Impala soldier on as the "Impala Limited" until 2016 as a fleet-only car, similar to the Chevrolet Classic (an old Malibu) and the Chevrolet Captiva (a Saturn Vue).

I work for a very large organization that happens to have a large fleet of cars at its disposal. They range from the full electric Nissan Leaf to gigantic 15-passenger vans. Since three of us were traveling about 2 hours to a conference in Hershey, PA, we took the Impala Limited, a full-size sedan. Naturally, I volunteered to drive because I know my way around Hershey, and I love cars and love to drive. Let's get into the nitty-gritty about this car:

Exterior styling: If it was any more generic, you might as well put the word "Car" on the grille. It's an improvement over the obnoxious, NASCAR-inspired 2000-2006 version of the Impala. For this version, they probably benchmarked the Camry and Accord to make this one of the most conservative and inconspicuous cars on the planet. It pretty much gets lost in the crowd. The 2014 restyle was a huge improvement for this car.

Interior styling and features: If you thought the exterior was a yawner, wait until you look inside. Cheap, hard plastics, blatantly phony wood trim, old tech and components from the GM parts bin are everywhere. The cloth seats are flat and soft like an easy chair. Considering this is Chevy's largest sedan, the level of content is rental-grade pitiful. There is no navigation, remote engine start, backup camera, seat heaters, steering wheel audio controls, automatic climate control, or sunroof. Even the radio is the base unit, and does not have the station presets displayed on the screen. At least there is an auxiliary jack. The steering wheel is cheap rubber with a big hub to hold the airbag. Newer cars can pack an airbag into a smaller wheel. There are buttons to shift the automatic transmission, but they are nearly invisible, hidden behind the cruise control buttons. From what I hear, they don't work anyway.

Performance: The one bright spot of this car is the engine. It uses GM's sophisticated DOHC 3.6 liter V6, which puts out 305 hp in the Impala. You can't really feel it, since everything about this car, including the acceleration, is pillowy and smooth. The engine and six-speed automatic keep the car moving well, and I was never at a loss for passing power. The ride and handling are also pillowy. Understeer is very noticeable, and this was not built to be a performance car. Brakes respond, but it feels like you are stepping on a pile of mashed potatoes.

Fuel economy: Excellent. The car did have a decent (but not very user-friendly) trip computer. The mileage was in the low 30s. I realize these were almost entirely highway miles, but that's awesome for a full-size car with a big V6.

Safety: Comes with ABS, traction control and a full complement of airbags. Received 4-star crash ratings and "good" ratings across the board. There are safer cars out there, but the Impala limited is more than adequate.

Space/utility: Because this platform dates back to 2000, It is big on the outside, but not as big on the inside. 3 of us rode in the car. The woman sitting in the back seat was about 5 feet, 3 inches tall, so she had plenty of room. The back seat was adequate, but not huge. The trunk, on the other hand, was large, and had no problem swallowing all of our bags. 

Value: Since this is a fleet car, you can't buy it at a Chevy dealership. However, because these cars are not in demand, you can find a used one for a good price, usually in the low teens. Be careful, though, and check the Carfax. Some fleet cars get the crap beaten out of them. 

Would I recommend it to other people: Yes. Not to put too fine a point on it, but this would be a good car for old people, especially since the Grand Marquis is gone and a new Toyota Avalon, or even a Camry or Accord can be well over $30,000. It is conservative, it is quick, it is easy to drive, and it is more than big enough to hold the grandchildren and shuttle them to the Golden Corral and be home in time for "Matlock." Also, it lacks a lot of those "newfangled doodads" That confuse geriatrics (look for stories that talk about what old heads think of Ford Sync or Cadillac CUE). Those looking for a performance car or something fun to drive should look elsewhere.

75,000 miles of life with a minivan

We just got rid of our 2011 Dodge Grand Caravan after 4 years of driving, two vacations down South, two kids, and all kinds of cargo from strollers, Pack and Plays, bicycles and a big honking bass drum. I thought I would share my overall impressions of the van, even though I don't do impressions.

2011 Dodge Caravan Crew

The Good:
Good value for the money
Plenty of power
Handles well - for a minivan
Unparalleled practicality
Good, functional design, inside and out

The Bad:
Transmission woes
Eats brakes
Awful resale value
Mediocre fuel economy

So first of all, why did we buy a Dodge minivan? Until 2011, I wouldn't even have thought about buying this product. In 2011, the Caravan got a major refresh inside and out. First of all, the well-engineered Pentastar 3.6 liter V6 with variable valve timing became the only available engine. In the Caravan, it puts out 282 horsepower, which, at the time, made it the most powerful minivan you could buy. They also worked on the chassis so it handled better, and completely refreshed the interior. I liked what I saw, was surprised how well it drove, and was thousands of dollars cheaper than comparably equipped Siennas and Odysseys (Although I found out the hard way you pay for that down the road).

Exterior styling: It's a van. A basic two-box design you can only do so much with. Honda tried to take some chances with the goofy lightning-bolt styling of the Odyssey, and the result is not pretty. That having been said, the Caravan is a clean, inoffensive design. The tracks for the sliding doors are wisely integrated into the bottom of the window so it doesn't cut into the middle of the van. 

Interior styling and features: Before 2011, the Caravan's interior was a cheap, plasticky mess. This was when Fiat and Sr. Marchionne stepped in, said this was unacceptable, and revamped the interiors of several products, including the Caravan. The interior is not luxurious, but clean and inoffensive (see the theme here?). The surfaces have an upscale feel to them, and use decent-quality plastics. The fake-chrome metal inserts are a nice touch. The best design is in the steering wheel, which has controls for the trip computer and cruise control. There are also rocker switches on the back side of the wheel that let you control the volume and tuning for the radio. The display between the tach and speedometer showed trip information and fuel economy information (if you want to be depressed), and could even function as a digital speedometer if you so desired. There are speakers all over the car. The radio sounds clear, even at a loud volume, and is, frankly, one of the best OEM radios I have ever heard. The automatic climate controls were easy to use and worked well. The touch screen was an older unit, and wasn't the most user friendly system. For example, it had a built-in hard drive for music. In order to put music on the hard drive, you had to burn music from the computer on to a CD, and import the music from the CD on to the hard drive, a time-consuming process. There is a headphone jack and a USB jack. The USB jack was virtually useless, because it charged my iPhone so slowly, or not at all if it was in use. But, like any other infotainment system, it was fine when you got used to it. Power jacks, including a 110-volt plug, and cupholders are everywhere. 

Performance: All Chrysler minivans (and their mechanical twin, the slow-selling Volkswagen Routan), regardless of trim level, come with the aforementioned Pentastar engine. This is a great engine with lots of power and flexibility. The van accelerates smoothly and briskly, and has plenty of passing power. The chassis also got a much-needed overhaul. The van handles like a much smaller vehicle, and the steering feel is great considering this is a van. Then there is the transmission. Although the engine is new, they kept the old 6-speed automatic transmission. From the beginning, shifts were rough. There was a voluntary recall for a quick fix for the transmission that seemed to work. During the van's time with us, we needed two major transmission repairs. One for the powertrain control module, and another for the torque converter. The second repair took more than a week, but the dealership went above and beyond and provided us with a really nice loaner car. Thank goodness the van had a 10 year/100,000 mile powertrain warranty. This is when I also vowed that I would not keep this vehicle past 100,000 miles. Major transmission breakdowns are unacceptable on a car with this few miles on it, so I am glad Chrysler backed its product with a good warranty. They have since shortened the warranty to 5 years/60,000 miles. I am not sure if that is a good idea, because Chrysler, especially their cars, are not selling well right now. The brakes were responsive and did their job, but here is the other major problem with this car. During the 75,000 miles we had it, we replaced the brakes three times. I am told we had to do this because they put the same brakes on the van as they put on their cars. In other words, this 4,300 pound vehicle has the same brakes as a tiny Dart. The van did well in the snow. It is front-wheel drive, and the vehicle's weight kept it stuck to the road.

Fuel economy: Mediocre, but I understand this is a heavy vehicle with a large V-6. We live in a rural area, and we got roughly 20-22 miles per gallon for typical driving. When we were on vacation racking up major highway miles, mileage increased to 25-26 mpg. This still pales in comparison to our other car, a 4-cylinder Subaru Legacy, which gets 28-30 mpg.

Safety: Has airbags everywhere, traction control and stability control. The car performed well in the standard crash tests. Where it suffered was the offset crash test. The driver's compartment was nearly crushed, and the dummy's leg was impaled on the foot-operated parking brake. Ouch!

Space/utility: Can carry 7 passengers and a ton of cargo comfortably. On our first trip down south, there were 4 of us, a stroller, a wagon, and a week's worth of clothes. The "super console" up front had two storage cubbies and a cupholder. There was also a large drawer that pulled out with lots of space and twin cupholders for the second row. Finally, the van has stow and go seating, meaning the third and second row of seats folded into the floor, so you could have a flat floor behind the first row without having to lug any seats out of the car. The stow and go was relatively easy to use, but you had to push the front seats all the way forward so you can fold up the floor and fold the seats. Another handy feature is the hidden cargo area under the second row when the seats are up, which I called the "Millenium Falcon Secret Storage Area." For the record, I never stored anything illegal or myself in those compartments. Even with all seats up, the cargo area had plenty of room for groceries and such. With the seats down, we were able to store all sorts of things ranging from couches, mattresses and my concert band's bass drum. One time, when the house was bring fumigated, we used the van as a temporary storage bin to hold all of our dishes and silverware. I am definitely going to miss the room and practicality this van offers.

Value: Very aggressively priced, and significantly cheaper than comparably equipped Honda and Toyota minivans. The base Caravan, which still has the Pentastar engine, power everything, and all safety features, starts at $23,595. We had the Crew, which was nicely equipped with color screen for infotainment and a backup camera, automatic 3-zone climate control, and second-row captain's chairs. This sold for about $28-30,000 new. However, you will pay for it down the road when you go to sell the vehicle, because the resale value is awful. 

Would I recommend it to other people: Unfortunately, no. The van had tons of space, and I loved the way it van rode and drove, and it was a good value for the money. I would not recommend it because of the transmission problems. We had to get rid of it at 100,000 miles, because I didn't want to be stuck with a minivan with high mileage and in need of a $2,000 transmission repair. I would recommend purchasing an extended warranty to cover transmission repairs. Buy it from Chrysler, not the dealership when you are talking to the finance manager. The resale value was already bad enough with the car in good working order. The brakes were also a major headache, and got quite expensive.

The future: The 2017 Chrysler Pacifica is already out there. It looks great for a van, with Chrysler styling cues, and a sloped windshield. The inside is equally as attractive. The engine carries over, but they switched to the 9-speed transmission. This is the transmission in the Jeep that was blamed for killing "Chekov," when he accidentally left his vehicle in neutral, but they seemed to have worked most of the bugs out of this tranny, and the Pacifica uses a rotary knob to select the gear instead of the hockey stick-like lever on the Grand Cherokee and the Charger. All-wheel drive is not available yet, but they designed the chassis so they can put in AWD down the road. Reviews are good so far, but we will have to see how it stacks up against the competition, including the redesigned Honda Odyssey. The Caravan with the current body style soldiers on, and, if you want to drive it, it is likely available at an Enterprise counter near you.

NFL Week 4: The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

THE GOOD

The Eagles didn't lose: They didn't win either, because they didn't play. They are among the first teams to have a bye week. I wasn't too happy, because they could lose momentum after an unexpected 3-0 start. On Sunday, they play the struggling Detroit Lions. Most people believe Carson Wentz and the offense will rip through the Lions' defense. I think this is looking more and more like a trap game. Coach Doug Pederson is aware of that too, and claims he is making sure the team isn't too complacent, and will, as Coach Herm says, play to win the game on Sunday.

Falcons putting up Tecmo Bowl stats: QB Matt Ryan, formerly of Exton, PA gunslings for 503 yards, and a passer rating of 142, which is not far from the perfect 158.3 rating. Norm Van Brocklin's 1964 record of 554 yards still stands. WR Julio Jones racked up 300 yards receiving, beating his own franchise record. He is only the sixth receiver to hit the 300-yard mark. Flipper Anderson's 336-yard performance in 1989 still holds the record.

Rex gets to brag: The Patriots were shut out at home! By the Bills! This is the first time the Patsies were shut out in the 135-game history of Gillette Stadium. I don't think this will be a regular occurrence, though. Next week they get Tom Brady back from suspension and they play the lowly Browns. (see below)

So, there is life in Pittsburgh after all: After the Steelers were thumped by the Eagles, they came back this week to squash the Chiefs, a potential playoff team, 43-14. Big Ben, who was rendered virtually useless last week, throws 5 TD passes.

THE BAD

This week in the Mistake by the Lake: Actually, not too much to complain about here. Rookie QB Cody Kessler could have looked much worse, and Isaiah Crowell rushed for 120 yards. Still, they were outrun and outscored by the Potomac Basin Indigenous Peoples' offense. Next week, they will face a Patriots squad who will be mad coming out of a shutout loss and will have Tom Brady back. (see above)

John Kuhn: His mere existence is the bane of fantasy players. The Saints fullback scored 3 TDs - One 4-yard catch and two 1-yard runs, taking scores and points away from the team's high-profile receivers and running backs.

No Fitz-Magic: The Jets QB's Harvard education must not have taught him to throw footballs to his own team, because he had 3 picks in a loss to the Seahawks, and nine in the past two weeks. Another performance like this, and he will likely be surfing the bench.

THE UGLY

Adventures in officiating: The referees continue to make sure this is the No Fun League. Cam Newton was flagged for making a first-down signal with his hands. The ref was probably thinking, "Hey! That's my job!" Josh Norman was penalized AND fined 10 grand for pantomiming shooting a bow and arrow... On the sideline! He wasn't even on the field! He is appealing the fine. Jags receiver Allen Robinson was flagged for spinning the ball. However, Jacksonville QB Blake Bortles was not flagged for punting a ball into the stands. The refs need to calm down. Not only are they taking the fun out of the game, these are also 15-yard penalties that can change the course of the game. Players need to be a little more aware of what they are doing, and refs don't need to throw the flag every single time a player celebrates.

Injury report: This week was ugly. Cam Newton is probably out this week with a concussion. Trevor Siemian, who has been impressive as Peyton Manning's replacement, hurt his non-throwing shoulder. Cardinals QB Carson Palmer may also be out with a concussion, which is the last thing the 1-3 Cards need right now (although they won with Drew Stanton this week).

Top drafted QBs: No. 2 pick Carson Wentz is 3-0 with the Eagles and was named the NFL offensive rookie of the month. No. 1 pick Jared Goff was mediocre in training camp, has watched Case Keenum stary every game and has not taken a snap. Could this be the next Ryan Leaf?

NFL Week 3: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

THE GOOD

How about them Eagles?: On Week 1, they beat a joke of a team. On Week 2, they beat a mediocre team on the road. On Week 3, they beat what many people thought was a playoff contender with a bruising defense. Furthermore, they held them to a field goal. Carson Wentz continued to look impressive with his precise passing and quick release,  and Jim Schwartz's defense bottled up Big Ben and the Steelers' offense. They better take advantage of him as defensive coordinator while they can. I have a feeling he will be a head coach somewhere next year. This is the first 3-0 start for the Eagles in several years, and, so far, this looks like a team that could be going back to the playoffs. The Eagles now go into an early bye week, which is kind of unfortunate, because this might stop their momentum. However, they face a Detroit squad in a couple of weeks that has its share of problems, including a defense that was flattened by "A.A. Ron" Rodgers and the Packers.

Ex-Eagles: Shady McCoy, now a Buffalo Bill, ran roughshod over the hapless Jets for the Bills' first win of the season. Sam Bradford had another decent outing in a win over the Panthers, and the Vikings, like the Eagles, are a surprise at 3-0. Everything will be fine until Bradford gets injured.

National anthem protests continue: Ever since Colin Kapernick staged his protest by not standing for the Star-Spangled Banner, several players, including some Eagles, have protested in one way or another, annoying many rednecks, I mean, red-blooded Americans. I won't give you my personal opinion on the matter other than to say the Constitution and its amendments are the supreme law of the land. Believe it or not, there was a game on Monday night during the debate. Few Americans seemed to notice. What the game did have was the best show of unity I have seen so far this season: Both teams formed a circle on the field and held hands. This made a very important point: What the anthem and the recent protests symbolize is bigger than the game and both teams playing it. Well-done, gentlemen!

Big Man TD: Nothing is more fun to watch than a big guy taking it to the house. This week, it was the Rams' Ethan Westbrooks picking up a fumble and going all the way.

THE BAD

This week in the Mistake By The Lake: I feel so bad for Cleveland fans. On Wednesday, rookie wideout Corey Coleman, chosen 15th overall in the draft, broke his hand in practice. On Friday, kicker Patrick Murray tweaked his knee in practice, forcing the team to scramble and bring in ex-Eagle Cody Parkey. Then comes Sunday. The Dolphins are also 0-2, so someone has to win this game. The Browns showed some signs of life, with Terrelle Pryor becoming the Swiss Army Knife of football players catching 8 balls, playing a few downs as safety, and even completing a couple of passes. Parkey shanked 3 field goals, including one at the end of regulation that would have won the game. Instead, the game went into overtime, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Sacks and interceptions galore: Who let these pass rushers loose? Normally decent QBs ate the turf  and threw to the other team numerous times. In a loss to the Vikings, Cam Newton, last year's league MVP, was picked off three times and was sacked a whopping eight times. The Purple People Eaters are back! Carson Palmer, who is usually good at getting the ball off quickly, threw 4 INTs and went down 5 times. Ivy Leaguer and Jets QB Ryan Fitzpatrick threw 6 interceptions and ate the turf 4 times. His QB rating was an abysmal 18.2. By the way, your QB rating would be 25 if you threw every single pass into the ground. I don't blame Fitzpatrick here, I blame the coaches for not benching him to see if backup Geno Smith could turn things around.

Non-football news: The Dolphins had a moment of silence for Marlins pitcher Jose Fernandez, who died in a boating accident at the age of 24. He was not only one of the best pitchers in baseball, but also, by many accounts, a nice and charismatic guy. He defected from Cuba, and leaves behind a pregnant girlfriend. Very sad.

THE UGLY

Adventures in officiating: The pass interference call on Lions DB Nevin Lawson was a spot foul worth 66 yards, supposedly the longest NFL penalty in 15 years. It reopens the debate as to whether DPI calls should all be 10 yards, like OPI penalties. Upon further review, the league said this wasn't even a foul. Giants center Weston Richburg is the first player to be ejected under the league's new 2 & DQ rule. The Eagles' Kenjon Barner is inexplicably flagged for somersaulting in the end zone.

Finally: The Giants' Odell Beckham Jr., whose ability is overshadowed only by his ego, had a tough day facing off against the Potomac Basin Indigenous People's Josh Norman. He decided to take out his frustrations on the kicking net, but the net was having none of it.

Someone had some fun with it here.

Star Trek's top 10 characters and episodes

Sorry, this took me longer than I thought. As Star Trek turns 50, it’s time to look back and see what made this fictional universe so great. Here is a countdown of what I thought were the best characters and episodes in the Star Trek television universe. Keep in mind these are from the five television series that have aired. They must be permanent, regular cast members, so that is why Q, Gul Dukat, or even Guinan are not on this list. Also, I have never seen an episode of the animated series, so that is why  you won’t see any of those episodes. Also, there are no characters or episodes from Voyager or Enterprise, because those shows are both awful. For more about the movies, go to my ranking of the Star Trek movies here (soon to be updated when I see Star Trek: Beyond). Finally, there are spoiler alerts all over the place here, and if you are not a regular Trek viewer, you won’t know what I am talking about half the time. Here we go, starting with the memorable characters of Trek:

Honorable mention: Wesley Crusher (Cadet, TNG) - I wanted to show some respect to what is possibly the most hated character in the history of Star Trek. I don’t think the character itself is that bad, and Wil Wheaton seems like a nice enough guy. Besides, Troi, and, as Q put it, her “pedantic psychobabble,” grated on me a lot more than Wesley did. The problem with this character was the writing, particularly in TNG’s shaky first season. He is a classic Mary Sue character, meaning he is the one who swoops in, solves the problems, and saves the ship week after week. This would be okay once, but was more than a little nerve wracking after several times, especially considering that there were hundreds of highly trained Starfleet personnel throughout the ship. The best appearance of his character was when he was no longer a regular. The fifth-season episode, “The First Duty,” shows some true flaws in his character when he and other cadets try to cover up the death of one of their colleagues. A well-deserved dressing down from Picard straightens him out. 

10. Miles O’Brien (Chief Petty Officer, TNG/DS9) - I always liked the idea of having an enlisted man in Starfleet. He is battle-weary, having served on the front lines in skirmishes with Cardassians, but is also quite a handyman, so much so that he becomes chief of operations on Deep Space Nine. The character seems very down-to-earth and approachable. He is also portrayed as a family man. Because the writers discovered how much viewers empathize with this character, many episodes were devoted to making the character suffer as much as possible. I also liked how his friendship developed with Dr. Julian Bashir on DS9. At first, he thought Julian was arrogant, but they eventually became best friends, playing darts, and simulating historical battles in the holosuite.

9. William T. Riker (First Officer, TNG) - I like how much of a contrast Will Riker is to Picard. While Picard is the stern and serious leader, “Number One” isn’t afraid to have fun and befriend his crewmates, not to mention he is quite the ladies’ man. He holds a weekly poker game in his quarters, and is often seen having a drink in Ten Forward. Still, he is a smart and confident leader who is more than capable of running his own ship if he so desired. The episode “The Pegasus” really gives some good insight to his character, and shows how he has grown and matured into the character he became on TNG. Extra points because the character, like the actor, plays the greatest musical instrument ever invented.

8. Hikaru Sulu (Helmsman, TOS) - Ohhh Myyy. This may be more out of respect for the great George Takei, who is now a social media juggernaut, Broadway star and tireless activist for the LGBT community. As an Asian-American, he was part of Gene Roddenberry’s commitment to diversity. Takei is of Japanese descent. John Cho, who played Sulu in the recent reboot movies, was a little worried because he is Korean-American. However, Takei reassured Cho by saying that the character of Sulu represents all Asian-Americans. In addition to being an exceptional bridge officer, Sulu had many interests, including botany and fencing. He is one of the first Asian characters in any medium to be portrayed in a positive light instead of a Mickey Rooney-ish sterteotype or a villain. Keep in mind that TOS aired barely 20 years after World War II.

7. James T. Kirk (Captain, TOS) - I am sure many of you are now saying “What?!” and calling shenanigans on this list. Most people have Captain Kirk as the No. 1 character from Star Trek. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great character. He is bold and daring. He isn’t afraid to let the fisticuffs fly. He has had relations with a female of just about every species in the galaxy (which led to a great NSFW Eddie Murphy bit). He’s fun to watch, but is he actually a good captain? He takes an awful lot of risks, he has violated the Prime Directive more times than I care to mention, and he almost always beams down with the away team even though something awful happens to a redshirt almost every week. This ranking may also be a result of how I feel about the actor. I dislike Shatner almost as much as I respect Takei. Like his character, Shatner is a preening prima donna.

6. Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy (Ship’s surgeon, TOS) - He’s grumpy. He hates the transporter. He doesn’t like technology, because he is just an old country doctor.  He gets into frequent arguments with Spock about logic vs. emotion. He’s a doctor, dammit, not a mechanic, bricklayer or coal miner. The best aspect of the original series is the dynamic between Kirk, Spock and McCoy. Bones wears his emotions on his sleeve, while Spock suppresses them, driving each other crazy. Because the original Enterprise didn’t have a ship’s counselor (thank God), McCoy more or less served in this role, and was often a sounding board for Captain Kirk. The intrepid doctor also happens to get most of the best lines on the show.

5. Montgomery Scott (Chief Engineer, TOS) - This was Gene Roddenberry paying tribute to the fact that most of the world’s greatest shipbuilders were Scotsmen. Star Trek mostly focuses on relationships between people. Scotty’s most important relationship was between he and the ship. I loved the moment in “The Trouble With Tribbles” when the Klingons insult Captain Kirk and he just stands there. They then refer to the Enterprise as a “garbage scow” and Scotty goes nuts. One of the best TNG episodes happens to be when Scotty ends up on the Enterprise-D, and explains to La Forge to tell the captain how long it will “really take” to get the ship running again, making fun while still being respectful to one of TOS’s many cliches.

4. Worf (Chief of Security/Tactical Officer, TNG/DS9) - In TNG, the Klingons and the Federation are allies. Enter Worf, a Klingon raised on Earth by humans who eventually becomes the first of his species to serve in Starfleet. Although he is aware of his duty, and is one of Picard’s most loyal officers, he sometimes is in conflict because he has a hard time suppressing his warrior instincts. Thanks to Worf, we get to learn a lot more about Klingon people and customs. One of my favorite plot lines in the entire series is that Klingons are held responsible for the sins of their family for three generations. Worf’s father was falsely accused of conspiring with Romulans, and Worf accepts discommendation in order to keep the empire together. Worf also gets a lot of great lines and dry jokes throughout the series. My personal favorite is when Q asks the crew how he can prove that he lost all his powers and is now human. Worf responds curtly, “Die.” Unfortunately, in DS9, where the writing is usually strong, Worf loses this dry sense of humor and is overly serious. Maybe it’s because he was promoted.

3. Data (Science Officer/Second Officer, TNG) - They wanted a character like Spock for TNG, but not exactly like him. Data is an android who is not capable of expressing emotion. He doesn’t sleep or eat, but is twice as strong as any human. He spends his time endeavoring to become human, and mimicking human behavior, to varying degrees of success. A great example is when he asks Dr. Crusher to teach him to dance for an upcoming wedding. He masters a highly technical tap dance almost immediately, but is completely clueless when he is slow dancing, as he doesn’t know where to look and what to do, as he is unable to lead and steps on poor Beverly’s feet.

2. Mr. Spock (First Officer/Science Officer, TOS) - This is the character that made Star Trek the unstoppable franchise it is today. When Star Trek premiered in 1966, it broke new ground in that it had an African American and an Asian American in its cast. Another character was Mr. Spock, a half-human, half-alien hybrid with pointy ears, who suppresses his emotions. I give Gene Roddenberry credit for coming up with these ideas. Many actors would have just recited the lines in a flat, emotionless voice, resulting in a one-dimensional character (like Tuvok on Voyager). However, the late, great Leonard Nimoy was able to give some subtle hints of emotion such as the raising of the eyebrows, and how he said "fascinating" in a semi-interested voice. Also, his friendships that developed with Kirk and McCoy, and their frequent debates about logic vs. humanity are some of the elements that made the original series great.

1. Jean-Luc Picard (Captain, TNG) - Now, this is what a captain should be. Picard delegates authority, listens to other opinions before giving an order, is an outstanding negotiator, and has the utmost respect and trust for his crew. Picard is No. 1 because he is an exceptional captain, and a great, well-rounded character. Patrick Stewart, a Shakespearean actor, is far and away the best actor on any of the Star Trek shows. Also, as far as I know, he is the first bald leading man on television. A conversation between Stewart and Gene Roddenberry went something like this after they decided that Picard wouldn’t wear a wig:

PS: Is anyone bald in the 24th century?

GR: Why would anyone care?

One of Picard’s best moments for me is during the episode “Yesterday’s Enterprise.” As the future is altered, Picard’s entire personality is altered with it. He is still Captain Picard, but he is now a wartime captain instead of someone leading a mission of peaceful exploration. Also, he drops his best quote during this same episode: “Let us make sure history never forgets the name ... Enterprise.” Finally, as proven in “Deja Q” and other episodes, he can pull off humor. When Q explains to Picard that he chose to become human because Picard “Is the closest thing I have to a friend,” Picard’s facial expression (including the trademark face-palm) is absolutely priceless.

Moving on to the best episodes.

10. “The Visitor” (DS9, season 4, episode 2): Gene Roddenberry said Star Trek wasn’t about science and technology, it is about people and emotions. This episode is a perfect example of this philosophy. Jake Sisko loses his father, Ben, on a freak accident on the Defiant. He spends the rest of his life looking for him as he becomes a renowned author. Old Jake tells his life story to an aspiring author on the same day he has to make the ultimate sacrifice to save his father. Obviously we know Captain Sisko, the main character in DS9, is not dead, but that’s not the point of this episode. It is about the relationship and bond between a father and son. Both Avery Brooks and Tony Todd (best known as Candyman and Worf’s younger brother Kurn) give great emotional performances. The episode is able to tell this story without becoming mushy or manipulative, and some of the flashback scenes are great fun to watch. This is separate from DS9’s serialized story about the Dominion War, but stands out as one of the best episodes of this show.

9. “Space Seed” (TOS, season 1, episode 22): Here we meet one of the greatest characters in all of Star Trek: Khan Noonien Singh. Khan was a ruthless leader from the 20th century who fought in the Eugenics Wars over genetically modified humans. In 1996, Khan and his followers were placed into suspended animation and sent out into deep space (Funny how I didn’t see this in any newspapers in 1996). The derelict craft was retrieved by the Enterprise. Khan is a grateful guest at first, but eventually reverts to his old ways and wants to conquer the Enterprise. He tries to do so by using his charisma to convince the crew that he is right (this sounds like this year’s presidential election). My only problem is that he is able to easily seduce his future wife, Marla. I don’t care how alluring Khan is, no woman on a television show in 2016 would be as submissive as Marla MacIvers was. Eventually, Kirk exiles Khan, MacIvers and his people onto an uninhabited planet, setting the stage for the greatest Star Trek movie ever made. Ricardo Montalban makes this episode unforgettable, and you almost believe what he is selling, just like the Corinthian leather in the Chryslers that he went on to hawk.

8. “The Measure of a Man” (TNG, season 2, episode 9): This is when TNG was still pretty shaky. There were some good episodes like this one and “Q Who,” which chillingly introduced the Borg. This was the best episode of TNG up to this point. Someone decided that Data was property of Starfleet, and ordered that he be dismantled so that they can create more androids. A court martial in deep space takes place with Picard defending Data, and Riker acting as his prosecutor (this office has no staff yet, so officers have to moonlight as attorneys). The writing is top-notch, and convincing arguments are made for both sides of the issue. This episode is full of memorable moments, such as Riker literally turning Data off, and Picard making a Big Important Speech (tm) about the potential ramifications of this case:

“The decision you reach here today will determine how we will regard this creation of our genius. It will reveal the kind of people we are; what he is destined to be. It will reach far beyond this courtroom and this one android. It could significantly redefine the boundaries of personal liberty and freedom: expanding them for some, savagely curtailing them for others. Are you prepared to condemn him [Commander Data] – and all who will come after him – to servitude and slavery? Your honor, Starfleet was founded to seek out new life: well, THERE IT SITS! Waiting."

Through this whole ordeal, Data is purely logical, and holds no grudges against Riker or the Starfleet officer who ordered he be dismantled, simply because he is not capable of expressing such emotions. Like many Star Trek episodes, this looks at both sides of a moral dilemma. Unlike many Star Trek episodes, it is not preachy or pedantic.

7. “The City on the Edge of Forever” (TOS, Season 1, Episode 28): Many consider this to be the best episode of Star Trek. Not quite, but it’s close. A loopy Dr. McCoy jumps through a time portal to the 1930s and alters history. Kirk and Spock follow him to restore the timeline. They meet Edith Keeler (Joan Collins), who Spock finds out leads a pacifist movement delaying the United States’ entry into World War II, allowing Hitler’s German empire to take over the world. The ending is truly devastating as Kirk, who has fallen in love with Edith, has to allow her to die to preserve history. Shatner even manages to pull off some decent acting here. Many of Star Trek’s best stories concern time travel, and this emotional episode is no exception. This is a great episode for someone who has never watched an episode of “Star Trek.”

6. “In The Pale Moonlight” (DS9, Season 5, Episode 19): DS9 is a great series, and the best-kept secret in the Star Trek universe. A great portion of the show is devoted to a war with the Dominion, a sort of evil version of the Federation that comes through the wormhole, forms an alliance with the Cardassians, and tries to take over the Alpha Quadrant. Realizing that the Federation alliance is losing the long Dominion war, Sisko persuades the Romulan Empire to join the fight, and does so using the means of deception and even murder. It's a good thing Gene Roddenberry wasn't alive to see this episode, because it is the opposite of his idealistic vision of the future. Nevertheless, this is a refreshingly dark and compelling episode. As morally reprehensible as Sisko's actions were, lives were likely saved. These are often the kinds of decisions leaders need to make in wartime.

5. “The Inner Light” (TNG, Season 5, Episode 25): Here’s another emotionally wrenching episode that proves that special effects and explosions aren’t needed for a great episode of this show. An alien probe incapacitates Picard, who then wakes up in a small village. Everyone calls him Kamin, and, over the course of 30 years, he raises a family and has grandchildren on this planet. We find out in the end that the planet is dying, and the probe is launched in the hopes it will teach others about their civilization so it will live on, in a way. This episode is emotional and heart wrenching without becoming sappy. Patrick Stewart, exceptional as always, manages to sell this episode. This episode will have you thinking long after you are done watching it.

4. “The Trouble With Tribbles” (TOS, Season 2, Episode 15): Some of the best Star Trek episodes do a good job using humor. This episode, possibly the most famous and well-known episode of the original series, is the best example. Crew members bring back Tribbles, small friendly furry creatures, from a space station. The problem is that they are literally born pregnant, and reproduce faster than rabbits. This episode is chock full of classic scenes, such as the bar brawl (see my comments on Scotty above), the thousands of dead Tribbles falling on top of Kirk, who then quips “Close that door!” Finally, Scotty is able to get rid of the Tribbles. After giving Kirk the runaround, he finally reveals that he beamed all of the creatures to the engine room of a Klingon ship “Where they’ll be no tribble at all.” Roll credits!

3. “Mirror, Mirror” (TOS Season 2, Episode 4): My personal favorite episode of the original series. Kirk, Scotty, McCoy and Uhura are involved in a freak transporter accident, and are transported to an alternate universe and the first thing they see is Spock with a goatee! In this barbaric mirror universe, crew members kill their superiors to get promoted. Mirror Spock is the highlight of this episode. Even though he is as ruthless as many of his crewmates, he still has the even temper and logical thought process that Spock is known for. Kirk uses logic to convince Mirror Spock to change things before returning to where he came from. In Deep Space Nine, characters return to the Mirror Universe several times, where we do find out that Spock was able to change some things and attempted to bring some peace to the mirror universe.

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2. “Yesterday’s Enterprise” (TNG Season 3, Episode 15): Another time travel story that is great fun to watch. A rift in space causes the Enterprise-C to travel forward in time. The disappearance of this ship from its timeline significantly alters the future. The Federation is on the losing end of a brutal war with the Klingons. The best parts of this episode are the subtle differences... The Enterprise is now a warship, the bridge has changed, and Worf is conspicuously absent. Tasha Yar is alive and Picard’s whole demeanor has changed. Also, we see a woman as a captain years before Voyager and Captain Janeway. Luckily, Guinan is able to let Picard know that the timeline is wrong. This episode is full of memorable moments, like the action-packed battle scene at the end of the episode, Christopher McDonald’s memorable guest appearance as a crew member of the Enterprise-C, and what could possibly be the best quote in all of Star Trek besides the opening monologue.

1. “Best of Both Worlds, Parts I and II” (TNG Season 3, Episode 24; Season 4, Episode 1): “The Walking Dead” showrunners take notice: This is how to pull off a cliffhanger. The Federation's most ruthless enemy, a race of cybernetic organisms called the Borg, kidnap Picard and turn him into a Borg, so they can gain a tactical advandage for an attack on the Federation and Earth. This is as good as Star Trek got on the small screen. The stakes were high, and there were even rumors that Patrick Stewart did not renew his contract, so we didn't even know if Picard was coming back. The episode ended with Riker giving the order to fire on the Borg ship while Picard was on it, and the screen then faded to black with the words "To be continued," meaning this was a season-ending cliffhanger, and this is before lots of shows used cliffhangers as gimmicks to keep viewers. Even though it was a long time ago, I remember it being a very long summer. The second part didn’t quite live up to the expectations set by Part I, but it is still top-notch Trek, and boasted movie-quality special effects during the intense battle scene where Picard is retrieved from the Borg.

NFL Week 2: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Okay, when I said this would be a one-shot deal, I guess I lied, because enough happened in the world of pro football this week for me to incoherently blabber some more.

THE GOOD

The Eagles are 2-0! And this time they beat what many perceived as a decent team, although their offense was kind of a mess. I tempered my excitement about Carson Wentz last week (although football fans didn't because Wentz passed Colin Kapernick as the top-selling jersey in the league), because the Eagles were playing a glorified Pop Warner team. This week, they matched up against a defense that was a bit more competitive, and Wentz was up to the task. He didn't get as many yards, but played mistake-free and managed to score his first passing TD as a pro. I think it is almost time to get excited about this guy, because, even though it was only his second game in the NFL, he is playing like a seasoned veteran. His passing is precise, and he does a great job reading the defense and calling an audible if he sees something he doesn't like. He also took a few nasty hits and got right up. This is the type of hardworking player the Philly fans want to see. This sets the stage for the "Turnpike Bowl" against their cross-state rivals, the Steelers, who are also 2-0. Many are already comparing Wentz to Big Ben because of their style of play, and the fact that they are both big dudes that went to small colleges. If the Eagles win this one, it will truly be "Wentzylvania." Steelers coach Omar Epps, I mean Mike Tomlin, being the gentleman that he is (no sarcasm this time), complimented Wentz on his good play.

Denver's defense is on fire, scoring two TDs (one more than the offense managed to score). Aqib Talib may be a douche nozzle, but I am sure the Broncos were glad to have him after a 46-yard pick-six play.

In another instance of athletes playing better after they leave Philly, Sam Bradford looked great leading the Vikings to a win and outplaying Aaron Rodgers in a big rivalry game over the Packers.

Football returns to Los Angeles for the first time in 22 years. No one seemed to notice, other than the 90,000 plus fans packing the Coliseum, which, somehow, does not have a corporation's name slapped on it.

THE BAD

Most games were close last week, but there were a few blowouts this week. Carolina beat Chip Kelly's Niners 46-27, the Cardinals humiliated the Bucs 40-7, and the Chargers put the hurt on the lowly Jags 38-14. In the Seahawks' 9-6 loss to the Rams, neither team managed to reach the end zone. I've seen higher scoring hockey games! The Seahawks have scored a whopping 15 points in 2 games this season. In addition to the SeaSlugs, the Giants also won without scoring an offensive TD. The Rams have 1 win and 0 TDs.

Injuries: Another bad week. Minnesota star RB Adrian Peterson tore his meniscus. He wants to play this week, but I think reality will tell him otherwise. Chargers RB Danny Woodhead is gone for the season. Patriots QB Janeane Garofalo, I mean Jimmy Garoppolo, is out. Next in line is rookie Jacoby Brissett. If he is hurt, the emergency backup is wideout Julian Edelman. I wonder if the Pats will sign someone as a Band-Aid until Tom Brady returns from his suspension. Unfortunately for them, the list of free agent QBs is short, with former Eagle and convicted dog killer Michael Vick as the biggest name on that list (Update: The Pats said they will not sign another QB before Thursday's game).

THE UGLY

Adventures in officiating: Late in the Steelers-Bengals game, Bengals wideout Tyler Boyd lost control of the ball. The ruling on the field was a fumble, giving the ball to the Steelers, who went on to win the game. Although it looks like the ball hit may have hit the ground after his knee, there wasn't a clear shot of the play. Because there wasn't enough evidence to overturn the play, the fumble stood, icing the game for Pittsburgh. Also, unlike last year's playoff game, there was little drama between the two rival teams this time around, other than Adam "Don't call me Pacman" Jones talking trash after the game, if only to bring attention to himself.

God still hates the city of Cleveland: The woes continue for the Mistake by the Lake. Browns wideout Terelle Pryor made a big catch. He appeared to be flipping the ball back to the referee, and it hit a Baltimore player in the helmet. Pryor was flagged for taunting, backing the team up 15 yards and possibly costing them the ballgame. Also, with RG3 already out on an injury, Josh McCown suited up this week, only to injure his shoulder. Rookie Cody Kessler will start next week.

Update on the Potomac Basin Indigenous People: Kirk Cousins stunk up FedEx Field in a loss to the Cowboys. Supposedly a lot of the players were griping, and he and coach Jay Gruden had a come-to-Jesus meeting after the game, setting the stage for yet another QB crisis in Washington. The Native Americans have started 17 different quarterbacks since 2000.

Unemployment watch: Unless things miraculously change, Bills coach Rex Ryan and the poor bastard who coaches the Jags will not make it through the season.

Motor City Morons: The Detroit Lions racked up 17 penalties and punted on fourth-and-2 from the Titans' 39 during the fourth quarter in a game they really should have won. This is why good teams are good, and bad teams are bad.

NFL Week 1: The good, the bad, and the ugly

With week 1 of the 2016 NFL season in the books, I wanted to highlight want I liked and didn't like about the games, because a lot happened this week. This will probably be a one-time deal and not a weekly thing.

THE GOOD: 

The Games: The NFL couldn’t have asked for a better opening weekend. With the exception of the Eagles game and the two Monday night games, all the games were close, and exciting to watch. I am glad I was able to watch all the action unfold on my free preview of Sunday Ticket, which sadly disappears next week.

Young QBs: A bunch of new, inexperienced quarterbacks debuted as starters this week, and all of them looked at least decent. In the nationally televised first game of the season on Thursday, Trevor Siemian, who had, until then, thrown one pass in the NFL, had a decent game, and the team won thanks to good coaching. Rookie Dak Prescott started in place of an injured Tony Romo, and almost won the game if not for a bonehead play (more on this later). Since the Eagles sent Sam Bradford packing, Carson Wentz started his first game as a rookie, and was poised, calm and played a great game, throwing 2 TDs, no picks and earning a QB rating of 101. He is also more mobile than his lanky frame would suggest. His No. 11 jersey is now the team’s top-selling jersey. Eagles fans need to temper their excitement, though. Remember the Eagles were playing the lowly Browns. Their defense is so bad, Ryan Leaf could have had a good game against this team. As a loving Cleveland fan said, the Browns will put the 0-16 in 2016. I want to see how Wentz does against strong NFC East opponents like the Giants. Finally, the Pats played in Arizona on Sunday night. No Brady? No Gronk? No Problem. Once again, good coaching allowed virtual unknown Jimmy Garoppolo (No relation to Janeane Garofolo) to lead the Pats in a dominating performance against a team that many experts have picked to go to the Super Bowl.

The Raiders: New coach Jack Del Rio wants to change the perception that the Raiders are a team that loses season after season, and I think the team is going to shock a lot of people this year. The Raiders are down by 7 in the 4th quarter, and drive for a touchdown. There is about a minute and change left on the clock. Instead of kicking a (relatively) easy PAT for a tie, the offense manages to convince Del Rio to attempt a 2-point conversion, giving the team the lead. The conversion is successful and the Raiders win. I know the team talked him into it, but it was the coach’s decision in the end, and he showed some true balls attempting a conversion near the end of an away game. Upon further thought, it was probably the smart thing to do, because it may have been more difficult for the Raiders to win in overtime.

THE BAD

There are some teams that really do suck again. Cleveland, the L.A. Rams, the Redskins, and the Bills.

The Cowboys: They aren’t a bad team from what I could see, but once again, they found a way to lose. They were down by 1, and had to drive down the field quickly and kick a field goal.  However, with 12 ticks left on the clock and no timeouts, wideout Terrance Williams, instead of stepping out of bounds to stop the clock so the team could line up for a field goal, ran up the field, and got tackled. The clock continued to run down to zero, and the Cowboys became an 0-1 team. Many are saying he blew it for the team, but if he had run out of bounds, the next play would have been a 60-plus yard field goal attempt or a Hail Mary pass, so the Cowboys had little chance of winning either way. It is still entertaining to see the Cowboys lose because of a bonehead play.

Injuries: Chargers standout Keenan Allen is out for the season. Eagles TE Zach Ertz is out this week. Seattle QB Russell Wilson had his ankle "accidentally" stepped on by Ndamukong Suh, but should play this week. Cleveland QB Robert Griffin III, who the Browns gave up a lot to snag, is out for several weeks with a shoulder injury. Remember, God hates the city of Cleveland.

THE UGLY

Adventures in officiating: On Thursday night, Carolina QB Cam Newton took at least two helmet-to-helmet shots. None of them were called. In the Sunday night game, I believe it was New England who got a play off three seconds after the play clock expired, but were not called for delay of game. Carson Wentz was flagged for a false start. How does a QB get flagged for a false start?

The No-Fun League: The refs really dropped the hammer on celebrations this week, handing out poor sportsmanship penalties like they were candy. I am all for this penalty if it is a pre-planned celebration like something that was choreographed before the game, the Sharpie in the sock, the cell-phone call on the field, and just about anything that Terrell Owens or Chad Ochocinco did. However, this week, Niners wideout Michael Crabtree was flagged for throwing the ball in the air after a touchdown. Antonio Brown was penalized for twerking in the endzone. A bunch of Cardinals defenders were nailed for spontaneous celebratory dancing after sacking the QB, forcing a fumble, and recovering the ball! Not flagged were Victor Cruz’s salsa dancing and Cam Newton’s “Superman” gesture. Let the players celebrate. It makes the game more fun to watch.

Top 10 Facebook and social media pet peeves

Here are some things I am noticing a lot of lately as I am looking at Facebook have been getting to me, and I am going to vent about them, because I am becoming a grumpy old man.

A common theme you will see is what I think the purpose of social media should be... Discourse and interaction with each other. A lot of these pet peeves go counter to that.

I apologize if I offend anyone. I may personally be guilty of many of these, but these are just some bad habits all of us get into.

I couldn't narrow the list down to just 10, so here are some honorable mentions:

• The "Feet on the Beach/pool deck" photo: So overused and cliched, not to mention the fact that feet are ugly. Take a picture of the ocean or your kids.
• SomeeCards: About one in 100 of these are funny and/or witty.
• Dumb "brain teasers" like "Think of a dog's name without the letter 'A' in it": 95 of 100 people will get this wrong!
• Time-wasting quizzes like "What Disney character are you?" 
• Outright scams, like the Disney World ticket giveaway, $70 off a $75 purchase at Kohl's, and the ever-popular "Bill Gates is giving away money" scam, which still pops up every few months. Please use common sense, and Snopes if necessary. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Also, clicking on these links will often spread malware and do funny things to your Facebook account.
• "Facebook is changing their privacy laws! Don't let them share your pictures, etc." Obviously, a hoax.
• People who pimp their business on their Facebook account. Please use a separate account for that.

Now, for the real list.

10. "Copy and Paste" chain status updates:

Example:

A baby born after a miscarriage or loss of a baby is referred to as a Rainbow baby. I am forever grateful for beautiful rainbow babies of Family and Friends. Today we remember all babies born sleeping, the ones we've carried but never met, those we've held but couldn't take home, the ones that came home but didn't stay. Make this your status if you or someone you know has suffered the loss of a baby. The majority won't do it, because miscarriage, still birth and SIDs is still a taboo subject. Break the silence. In loving memory of all the angels too perfect for earth. 93 percent of people won't share this because they are heartless assholes.
If you care about this issue more than everyone else, hold finger down and copy and paste, do not share (heart characters, for god's sake, don't forget the hearts).

These can be for anything like cancer, AIDS, people eaten by dragons, you name it. Many of these, like this one, make a pathetic attempt to tug at the heartstrings.

First of all, who comes up with this crap? This one is poorly written, and I left it mostly unchanged (I added a couple of sentences for dramatic effect) to point out grammatical errors. I understand why people share this stuff, but if you really do care about rainbow babies, write something original, and ask if people have any stories to share about the subject. Again, social media is about generating discussion, not regurgitating what someone else has said.

At best, these are just nuisances that are harmless aside from the fact that they eat up bandwidth. However, some of these can be fraudulent, like the "paste this and you will get $20" messages. I even saw one saying you could win a Range Rover. Many of these are clickbait to spread malware or are phishing attempts.

9. Incorrectly attributed quotes:

Here are some fake quotes from Adolf Hitler, thanks to the gun lobby, who, once again, wants to scare people into voting for pro-gun laws and candidates. The one on the right is even rife with grammatical errors. There have also been many pearls of wisdom supposedly dropped by the late George Carlin, many of which are also fake. All I can say here is do a little bit of research before you drop one of these on to your Facebook status.

8. Inappropriately crude and sexist posts:

I might be okay with it if the joke is actually funny. The one above is not.

7. People who only post memes and share other posts:

If you see something funny or worth sharing, by all means, do it. But you should not make every single post something shared. Again, Facebook is all about discussion and discourse, so come up with your own stuff.

6. Selfie-happy people:

Again, if you just got a new haircut or something, that's okay. It's the people who put a selfie on their wall every day. This is almost always an obvious sign of narcissistic personality disorder. I even saw one person, who is no longer a friend, get a nose stud, and she made sure that side of her face was towards the camera, but didn't mention it, practically baiting someone to say, "Ooh, I love your new nose stud!" Needless to say, some idiot did just that.

5. Status updates for mundane things, and the ever-popular exercise brag:

Example: I ran 3.45 miles today and burned 800 calories. Yay me! (map included)

No one wants to hear about your trip to Walmart or Home Depot. If you go to the movies, at least tell us what you thought of the movie. Then there is the exercise brag. If it is a major accomplishment like running your first 5k or exercising for the first time after an injury, post away. But I am sick of seeing someone's morning run documented on Facebook on a daily basis.

4. Fake car news/clickbait sites:

This site, along with some others like Crow.com, are pure clickbait. They often have a picture of a crazy looking concept car, but when you click on the story, you go to a boring, useless story about 2016 Cadillacs. You will see no sign of the car pictured, because it is a 2011 concept car called the Ciel, and is not for sale. Supposedly the morons who create these sites make money every time some sucker clicks on the story. Somehow, Facebook allows this crap.

3. "Like and share if you agree" political memes:

You've seen these before. I have to admit, this one pictured gave me a chuckle. Other examples are "Obama should be impeached. Like and share if you agree." "Hillary should go to prison. Like and share if you agree." "Obama and Hillary want to abolish the Second Amendment. Like and share if you agree." Most of these come from Trump supporters, and the nationalist alt-right wing of the Republican Party, who are afraid of Muslims, gays, immigrants, and pretty much anyone who isn't a heterosexual white Christian male. Many of these are one-sentence thoughts with no explanation why Obama should be impeached, why a Muppet is better qualified to be president than someone with decades of political experience, or why the Democrats want to abolish the Second Amendment (By the way, they won't and they can't). This is because many Trump supporters, not to mention the candidate himself, have trouble expressing themselves in thoughts longer than one sentence. Instead of sharing 12 of these every day, please provide some explanation why this makes sense, or share an article supporting your point of view (which is likely from Fox News, Breitbart or NewsMax).

2. Anonymously bad-mouthing someone, or having an argument for all to see on Facebook:

Example: "Apparently someone forgot what true friendship means."

If you want me to defriend you, here is the easiest way to do it. We are all definitely capable of pissing each other off, but posting a comment clearly directed at one person is not the way to solve your problems. Airing your thoughts to the Facebook world instead of communicating, or even ignoring each other for a short time, is not productive. I have also experienced the breakup of two people because they put the whole thing, publically, on Facebook. Trust me, no one wants to know, and no one cares.

1. Vague-booking:

Example: "OMG, I am having such a bad day."

Here is another sign of narcissistic personality disorder. These posts practically beg people to respond "Oh no, what's wrong," and some idiot always does. The poster then usually responds, "I don't want to talk about it." Instead of airing problems on Facebook, they should see a therapist. This is not an insult, but a suggestion.