NFL Week 2: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Okay, when I said this would be a one-shot deal, I guess I lied, because enough happened in the world of pro football this week for me to incoherently blabber some more.

THE GOOD

The Eagles are 2-0! And this time they beat what many perceived as a decent team, although their offense was kind of a mess. I tempered my excitement about Carson Wentz last week (although football fans didn't because Wentz passed Colin Kapernick as the top-selling jersey in the league), because the Eagles were playing a glorified Pop Warner team. This week, they matched up against a defense that was a bit more competitive, and Wentz was up to the task. He didn't get as many yards, but played mistake-free and managed to score his first passing TD as a pro. I think it is almost time to get excited about this guy, because, even though it was only his second game in the NFL, he is playing like a seasoned veteran. His passing is precise, and he does a great job reading the defense and calling an audible if he sees something he doesn't like. He also took a few nasty hits and got right up. This is the type of hardworking player the Philly fans want to see. This sets the stage for the "Turnpike Bowl" against their cross-state rivals, the Steelers, who are also 2-0. Many are already comparing Wentz to Big Ben because of their style of play, and the fact that they are both big dudes that went to small colleges. If the Eagles win this one, it will truly be "Wentzylvania." Steelers coach Omar Epps, I mean Mike Tomlin, being the gentleman that he is (no sarcasm this time), complimented Wentz on his good play.

Denver's defense is on fire, scoring two TDs (one more than the offense managed to score). Aqib Talib may be a douche nozzle, but I am sure the Broncos were glad to have him after a 46-yard pick-six play.

In another instance of athletes playing better after they leave Philly, Sam Bradford looked great leading the Vikings to a win and outplaying Aaron Rodgers in a big rivalry game over the Packers.

Football returns to Los Angeles for the first time in 22 years. No one seemed to notice, other than the 90,000 plus fans packing the Coliseum, which, somehow, does not have a corporation's name slapped on it.

THE BAD

Most games were close last week, but there were a few blowouts this week. Carolina beat Chip Kelly's Niners 46-27, the Cardinals humiliated the Bucs 40-7, and the Chargers put the hurt on the lowly Jags 38-14. In the Seahawks' 9-6 loss to the Rams, neither team managed to reach the end zone. I've seen higher scoring hockey games! The Seahawks have scored a whopping 15 points in 2 games this season. In addition to the SeaSlugs, the Giants also won without scoring an offensive TD. The Rams have 1 win and 0 TDs.

Injuries: Another bad week. Minnesota star RB Adrian Peterson tore his meniscus. He wants to play this week, but I think reality will tell him otherwise. Chargers RB Danny Woodhead is gone for the season. Patriots QB Janeane Garofalo, I mean Jimmy Garoppolo, is out. Next in line is rookie Jacoby Brissett. If he is hurt, the emergency backup is wideout Julian Edelman. I wonder if the Pats will sign someone as a Band-Aid until Tom Brady returns from his suspension. Unfortunately for them, the list of free agent QBs is short, with former Eagle and convicted dog killer Michael Vick as the biggest name on that list (Update: The Pats said they will not sign another QB before Thursday's game).

THE UGLY

Adventures in officiating: Late in the Steelers-Bengals game, Bengals wideout Tyler Boyd lost control of the ball. The ruling on the field was a fumble, giving the ball to the Steelers, who went on to win the game. Although it looks like the ball hit may have hit the ground after his knee, there wasn't a clear shot of the play. Because there wasn't enough evidence to overturn the play, the fumble stood, icing the game for Pittsburgh. Also, unlike last year's playoff game, there was little drama between the two rival teams this time around, other than Adam "Don't call me Pacman" Jones talking trash after the game, if only to bring attention to himself.

God still hates the city of Cleveland: The woes continue for the Mistake by the Lake. Browns wideout Terelle Pryor made a big catch. He appeared to be flipping the ball back to the referee, and it hit a Baltimore player in the helmet. Pryor was flagged for taunting, backing the team up 15 yards and possibly costing them the ballgame. Also, with RG3 already out on an injury, Josh McCown suited up this week, only to injure his shoulder. Rookie Cody Kessler will start next week.

Update on the Potomac Basin Indigenous People: Kirk Cousins stunk up FedEx Field in a loss to the Cowboys. Supposedly a lot of the players were griping, and he and coach Jay Gruden had a come-to-Jesus meeting after the game, setting the stage for yet another QB crisis in Washington. The Native Americans have started 17 different quarterbacks since 2000.

Unemployment watch: Unless things miraculously change, Bills coach Rex Ryan and the poor bastard who coaches the Jags will not make it through the season.

Motor City Morons: The Detroit Lions racked up 17 penalties and punted on fourth-and-2 from the Titans' 39 during the fourth quarter in a game they really should have won. This is why good teams are good, and bad teams are bad.