Thoughts and observations from our vacation

Last week, our family traveled to Hilton Head Island for a much-needed vacation. Here are some interesting facts from the road, some overall observances, and some changes and habits I hope to break.

1. We stayed at the Comfort Inn in Danville, VA on the way down. It was Saturday night and there was a club in the hotel, pumping out loud music until after midnight. Interesting how this was not mentioned in any Yelp or TripAdvisor reviews. There was a Mexican restaurant attached to the hotel. They were nice enough to sing "Happy Birthday" to my now 15-year-old niece and put a big sombrero on her head, but the food was mediocre overall. Breakfast wasn't bad, and the hotel provided eggs and sausage.

2. We were pleasantly surprised when we got to Hilton Head. Our timeshare villa was very spacious, and the 2 full bathrooms were a godsend. The bed wasn't that comfortable, but I have slept in worse. It also helped that we were a 5-minute walk from the beach.

3. For most of the trip, the surf was very light, and the ocean seemed like a lake. This was good for the kids. Also, until now, I didn't know sand dollars were living creatures that use small hairs to move, and eat microscopic creatures in the sand. Beachgoers, take note: Many places have laws similar to Hilton Head... If you take living things out of the ocean, you can be fined $500 per item. That's all I am going to say about that.

4. Thanks to strict laws for developers and a permanent population that is very proud of their community, the island is beautiful. Even though nearly 300,000 people crowd the island during peak vacation season, the island seems to be a bucolic and peaceful place. Also, many areas of the island are preserved for wildlife. Even the Walmart parking lot is wooded. This is the cleanest, nicest Walmart I have ever been in.

5. Many people think "snotty golf resort" when they hear Hilton Head Island, and that is not at all the case. There are many things for families to do besides the beach. There are many miles of bike trails, a children's museum, great shops, and we even visited a petting zoo while the girls in our group were on a horseback ride. Most importantly, the McDonald's on the island has a play land! People are generally pleasant and laid-back, as they should be on vacation. Also, rentals on the island cost about half as much as the Jersey Shore, the island is a prettier and cleaner environment, and you don't have to deal with obnoxious people from the Northeast. Frankly, I find Ocean City, NJ, a lot snottier than Hilton Head.

6. On a similar topic, lots of stuff is cheaper in the South. I realize people don't make as much and the cost of living is a little bit lower, but it was nice to get a big bag of Cajun peanut mix for $3, and inflatable innertubes for the kids for $3 each.

7. Being able to buy beer and wine at any grocery and convenience store shows how ass-backwards Pa.'s liquor laws are (I remember explaining to a tourist from Virginia how to buy alcohol, and I remember him saying "What the hell is a state store?"). It looks like Pa. has finally decided to loosen things up a bit.

8. I was able to get to my two favorite restaurants on the island. One Hot Mama's still makes some great barbecue, and the Skull Creek Boathouse still serves up top-notch seafood. I had a gigantic bowl full of clams, snow crab legs, oysters, shrimp, mussels, potatoes and corn on the cob, all in butter sauce. I  haven't had oysters in a while, and I forgot how good they actually are. Both of these restaurants are casual, and are reasonably priced for the quality of the food.

9. On the other hand, we ate at Aunt Chilada's, a Mexican-ish place. We were 0-2 for Mexican food on this trip, because Aunt Chilada's served up some bland, mediocre food. My wife had Chorizo and Chicken Pasta. There wasn't much flavor, and the pasta was overcooked. Blech.

10. Out of all the souvenir shops we walked into, the place that sells the nicest souvenirs for the best prices is, you guessed it, Walmart.

11. During our last day on the beach, I decided to be macho and go without sunscreen, because I have this crazy idea that I can tan and not burn because I am half Italian. Once again I was wrong. I must have gotten sun poisoning, because we went mini golfing that night, and at about the second hole, I was dizzy and out of it, and had to go to the snack bar for more water. I made it through all 18 holes, but I couldn't concentrate, and wasn't able to coach my kids as they randomly banged the ball throughout the course. I checked my blood sugar when we got back because I thought I was hypoglycemic, but it was normal. I am guessing it was a combination of too much sun, not enough water, and overall vacation fatigue.

12. Out of all the things we did, nothing gave me greater joy than being able to see my family for the first time in years. My Aunt Val and Uncle Biff came to see us in Hilton Head. My aunt is one of the nicest people I have ever been around. My uncle and me had lots of great conversations about cars, planes and other stuff most people don't care about. Like me, my uncle is a Tucker man through and through. However, he reminds me so much of my late father and grandfather that it makes me sad in a way. Still, I can't tell you how much Jaci and I appreciated Val and Biff taking the 5-hour drive from metro Orlando to see us.

13. On a similar note, we stopped in metro Atlanta to see my cousins Graham and Robin. (Graham is Val and Biff's younger son). We were given nothing but the finest southern hospitality, with BBQ ribs for dinner, and mints on the bed (and a shark for my wife). It was great to catch up with them, and see their kids. Ryan, is another Tucker male who can even talk my son Liam under the table. I also met their adorable 3-year-old son Reese for the first time. My only regret is we didn't stay there longer. I will plan things out better the next time.

14. We were barred from swimming twice on this trip thanks to what is referred to in the pool industry as an AFR, or accidental fecal release. Once at our community in Hilton Head, and once when we went to the community pool near Graham and Robin's house. What are the odds?

15. Interstate 16 in Georgia, a long, straight highway that connects Savannah to Macon, is one of the most boring highways I have ever been on. It is up there with the Indiana Toll Road, the New York Thruway between Syracuse and Buffalo, and the worst of them all, the Atlantic City Expressway. It exists so Atlantans can get to the beach, and so the coast can evacuate in the event of a hurricane.

16. Until now, the only thing I knew about Macon is that they used to have a hockey team called the Whoopee. Get it? Now I know that Macon is very hot in the summer, they have a Chick-fil-A and a Chipotle, and used to have a hockey team called the Whoopee.

17. I had the "privilege" of driving through Atlanta. Unlike the woefully inadequate and narrow highways in Pa.'s cities like the Surekill Expressway in Philadelphia and the Penn Lincoln Parking Lot in Pittsburgh, The highways in Atlanta have lots of lanes. Some sections of I-75 in and around the city have as many as 15 lanes. It also helped that trucks can't drive through the city, instead having to use the Perimeter Highway. I took Uncle Biff's advice, and used the HOV lane through town. Still, given the amount of traffic as well as the highway's hills, curves and underpasses, it was a white-knuckle drive.

18. Speaking of that, I always thought Atlanta was the biggest city in the South. Although Atlanta has the largest metro area by far, the city itself has fewer than 500,000 people. Several southern cities like Charlotte, Memphis and Louisville are larger. For my purposes, Florida is not part of the South.

19. On our way home, we traveled in the car for several hours for three days in a row. In retrospect, that wasn't a good idea. We could have solved this problem by spending more time with our cousins.

20. We stayed at a Microtel in Princeton, WV, on the way back. It was nice enough, and the staff was friendly, but we didn't sleep well, the pool was tiny and not heated, and there wasn't much to choose from at breakfast, especially if you are trying to avoid carbs.

21. West Virginia ranked 50th in quality of life and for business among U.S. states. That's a shame, because it is a beautiful state full of mountains and scenery. Maybe it has to do with the fact that there are no major cities or cultural centers. The largest city in the state is Charleston, with 51,000 people.

22. We didn't get to see much of this scenery, because it was pouring for most of the last day of the trip as we drove through the state. Luckily there was a break in the rain so we could make a quick stop to see the New River Gorge Bridge. This steel arch bridge is more than 3,000 feet long and almost 900 feet above the New River. This is the third-highest bridge in the U.S., behind the Royal Gorge Bridge and the recently opened Hoover Dam bypass. The New River Gorge is similar in size and scope to the Pine Creek Gorge, also known as Pennsylvania's Grand Canyon. My niece and me were able to get a nice view below the bridge as we climbed down some 200 steps to the vantage point. It should also be noted that we had to climb up these same stairs. I am not as young as I used to be.

23. What makes this bridge unique is that it is made of steel. It is made with a special steel that is supposed to rust on the outside and stay strong on the inside. The steel latticework is beautiful, and the rust color helps it blend in with the natural surroundings. If the bridge was built today, it would probably be made from concrete, like the Hoover Dam Bypass.

24. Thankfully, the cats didn't destroy the house when we got back. We are still adjusting to reality, work and all that good stuff.

25. The local paper in Hilton Head polled the readers on what gun laws need to be changed. After reading the results, it became perfectly obvious that South Carolina is a dark red state. On that note, we were amused by a car we saw in the island more than once with a bumper sticker that said "Obozo." I am sure this person thinks the president should be impeached for unspecified crimes against humanity and has insisted for years that he wasn't born in the U.S.

26. I tried boiled peanuts for the first time. The person at the stand was nice enough to let me sample a couple before I got a $5 bag of them. Basically, peanuts are boiled in a brine rather than roasted. They are soft, and the consistency reminded me of chick peas or pinto beans. Although I wasn't repulsed by them, I didn't want a whole bag. I think the guy at the stand put it best when he said "It's a Southern thing." At least I can say I tried them.

26. We ate at a Burger King twice during our travels - two times too many. It's worth paying the extra money to go to Panera, Chipotle, or even to the evangelical zealots at Chick-Fil-A.

27. I avoided Facebook and the Internet while on vacation, instead deciding to read. I even took FB off my phone. I am glad I did this, because I was just getting too angry at everyone. I will use Facebook to keep up with friends and post family pictures and funny things, but I am done with political ranting. This will be difficult, because one particularly moronic meme asked where Obama was after the Dallas shootings. Think about how wrong and stupid that is on so many levels. Anyway, I realize I won't change anyone's votes or opinions no matter how much I bitch and moan. I just have to hope and pray that common sense will prevail when Americans go to the ballot box in November.