Hiccup!

For those of you wondering how I ended up getting admitted to Mount Nittany, here's what happened. Following my 5th day of chemo and radiation on Friday, my only side effect was a slight headache. I took Tylenol on Friday, because it hurt a little more while I was exercising. Friday evening, I was cooking a complicated recipe, and started to feel dizzy and see stars. I called for Jaci. She came in, and I collapsed into her shoulders. She started to panic. Of course I told her I was fine, and just to get me to the couch. I blacked out after that. According to her, I vomited, fell (she caught my head), fell a second time and hit the back of my head on our hutch, and fell a third time. When I came to, I vomited a second time. Jaci asked the kids to call 911, but they were too scared to, because my pupils were dilated, and they thought I was dead. I went to the ER, was admitted, and ended up in the critical care unit. Because there were a slew of admissions, I didn't get admitted until 3:00 a.m. As always, the worst part of this whole experience was getting stuck with needles for the IV and blood draw. They tried to do it in the ambulance twice, unsuccessfully. It eventually took a three-person IV team 20 minutes with a blacklight to find veins.

They did let me sleep for at least a few hours, and let me get up to use the bathroom with supervision. Also, I was on a regular diet, and the food was much better. I was discharged Saturday afternoon, with an increased dose of Kepra (anti-seizure medication) and a return to a half-dose of Dex (steroid). I am afraid of what the steroid will do, but I am glad to be home. I feel bad that the boys were so scared and missed their friends' birthday party yesterday. Otherwise, I am now home and okay.

Moore, Roger Moore

Back to non-cancer related posts. So far the chemo and radiation is going well, and aside from a slight headache, I am not feeling any significant side effects. Our next consultation at Duke is set for July 20. It's all been good news. The fact that the tumor is metholated, the ADH1 mutation, are all factors in increasing my life expectancy.

A couple of days ago, we lost one of the actors who played James Bond, when Roger Moore died at 89. Inspired by my friend Erik, I am going to attempt to rank all of the people who played James Bond.

1. Sean Connery: He set the standard, made the mold, pick your cliche. He was the first, and the best. The only drawback is that you could get away with more sexism and Beatle-bashing in the 1960s.
Best movie: Goldfinger, still the best Bond movie ever.
Worst movie: You Only Live Twice, kind of cartoonish, but still entertaining.

2. Daniel Craig: Probably has more raw acting ability than any other Bond. He brings an emotional depth to Bond never seen before. According to a 2012 interview, he is Roger Moore's favorite Bond because of his appearance and acting ability. The next movie after "Spectre" remains in a holding pattern. It is only referred to as "Bond 25" on IMDB. Craig, who performs most of his own stunts, now says he is up for another movie, even though, at 49, he is no spring chicken. Also, "Spectre" was not reviewed well, and it's kind of sad that "Kingsman: The Secret Service" was a better Bond movie than the actual Bond movie.
Best movie: "Casino Royale," I agree with Erik that the parkour scene is the best action sequence in the entire series. The other 2 hours of the movie was pretty good, too.
Worst movie: Quantum of Solace, this is what happens when you make a movie during a writers' strike. Still very watchable, but is more or less a tacked-on (and very expensive) sequel to "Casino Royale."

Update: According to Screen Rant, a release date for the still untitled "Bond 25" is November 8, 2019. It will likely be Craig's last movie as 007. Start debating about who will be the next Bond. Personally, I don't care as long as he is male, British, and a good actor. Idris Elba, the studio's choice according to a leak, would be a good choice, as would "Downton Abbey" actor Dan Stevens, and Michael Fassbender.

3. Timothy Dalton: Probably the most underrated James Bond,and a decent actor. A lot of people didn't like "Licence to Kill" because it was very dark and violent. I thought it was a refreshing departure from the series to have Bond pursue a personal vendetta instead of saving the world as usual. If you watch him in other movies, particularly "Hot Fuzz," his character is much more lighthearted.
Best movie: "Licence to Kill," see above.
Worst movie: "The Living Daylights," process of elimination, as there are only two to pick from. This was still a very good movie, particularly the car chase and escape using a cello and its case.

4. Roger Moore: His portrayal of Bond was more lighthearted than others, and I believe he was fully aware of that. Movies like "Moonraker" and "A View to a Kill" are nearly unwatchable, but other movies like "For Your Eyes Only" wanted to return Bond to its roots after "Moonraker" by killing "Blofeld," having a car chase in a Citroen 2CV instead of a gadget-laden Aston Martin, and a great sequence on a former Winter Olympics site. According to a 2012 interview, he admits he could have done it better, despite the theme song for "The Spy Who Loved Me."
Best movie: "The Spy Who Loved Me," Good action sequences, decent story, and introduces unforgettable henchman Jaws.
Worst movie: "Moonraker," The Bond franchise tried to capitalize of the success of "Star Wars," and the result is the worst movie in the franchise.

5. Pierce Brosnan: He looked the part and got the whole swave and debonair thing down pat, but was hurt by lousy scripts and movies that relied too much on huge explosions and special effects. However, they brought Judi Dench on board as the new M, and she is unforgettable.
Best movie: "Goldeneye," Some fun action sequences, and introduces Judi Dench as M. Also, it spawned a totally awesome video game.
Worst movie: "Die Another Day," A CGI-laden mess, and Halle Berry is terrible. At least its reviews sent a message to the Broccolis that Bond needed to go in a new direction (see Daniel Craig, above).

Incomplete: George Lazenby: This Australian model was only in one movie, but it happened to be based on Ian Fleming's best novel, "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" The movie could have been paced better, but it has decent action sequences and great performances by Diana Rigg and Telly Savalas, and provides an emotional gut punch at the end of the movie. It is hard to tell how good Lazenby would have been in future movies. I can't blame them for bringing back Connery for "Diamonds Are Forever."

Positives

I figured I started with the negative, so I would end with the positive. There have been good things happening, especially the past few days.

Hat tip to Dave, who suggested that the kids participate in the cooking process. Make-your-own omelette was a big hit last night, and we are doing make-your-own taco night tonight.

First of all, I lost 40 pounds, partially because of bad hospital food. I don't recommend getting a brain tumor as a method of weight loss, but 40 pounds is 40 pounds. I am wearing smaller clothes and had to have my wedding ring re-sized.

Also, my caffeine addiction has somehow disappeared. I still like the taste of coffee, but I no longer need 2 cups of coffee to start the day.

Thanks to reduced steroid use, I can now actually sleep at night. That makes a big difference.

Thanks to sleeping and hotter weather, I am able to get up and walk around. I can cook again, and I can do things around the house. I am still weaker than the average bear, because it is hard to get up off the couch, and stairs don't like me.

I was able to speak with an old friend yesterday and hopefully make amends after a few years. Again, I am looking forward to seeing people come in from out of town.

Sorry if we seem distracted or busy when you are here, but we have to at least see who is calling because we are waiting for many important phone calls from doctors and nurses.

Restaurant Food, Carbs and Where to go

87 degrees today and a nice breeze. Aaahhh.

Since we have several gift cards from friends for many restaurants, for which I am very grateful, I am going to give my opinion about each of them, what to order, and the value for the money. I am a fan of French Onion Soup so I have rated the soup at each restaurant.

McDonald's, Burger King: Still the bottom of the barrel. The new chicken sandwiches from McD's with guac and other stuff look good but really aren't. Their salad was essentially a pile of wilting brown lettuce. They said they improved the salad. I will have to see it to believe it. Just watch "Super Size Me" again, and think about the possibility that Burger King uses horse meat.

TGI Friday's: You may be ordering from a table, but you are still being served fast food. The endless apps might be a death sentence for someone like me.

Perkins: Overpriced, processed food. Look at the nutrition facts (or lack thereof).

IHOP, Denny's: Not as overpriced, but still nothing but carb bombs.

Wendy's, Chick-Fil-A: A significant step up from other fast food joints, because they use more natural ingredients, and who doesn't like a Chick-Fil-A sandwich? The price goes up too. We can spend close to $30 at Chick-Fil-A for the four of us.

Panera: They famously claim to have clean food. Having worked there part-time, this claim is true. A lot of their bread, like honey wheat, is full of fiber, and many of their salads are zero- or low-carb. You can modify recipes as well. They definitely follow all the rules when it comes to food safety, and I feel safe feeding my kids there, but you pay for what you get. We can spend $50 for the 4 of us.

Red Robin: The tavern burgers start at $6.99 which is somewhat reasonable. No burger is a good burger for a diabetic, but you can eat it with a fork and knife and avoid the bun. Many of their burgers are way overpriced, their onion soup is the saltiest I have ever had, and you need a megaphone if you want to refill the "bottomless" fries.

Five Guys: Again, no burger is a good burger, but these guys use fresh beef and potatoes, and homemade food does make a difference.

Ruby Tuesday: Their garden bar has a lot of ingredients to make a carb-free or low-carb salad, just watch the type and amount of dressing. I use oil and red wine vinegar. Some of their burgers aren't too expensive, just see above.

"Fast" Mexican: These places seem to have exploded. I prefer Chipotle and Moe's which allow you to get bowls and avoid the carb-loaded tortilla. Chipotle's slow-cooked Barbacoa is great, and Moe's offers several different fresh salsas. I am told to limit the tortilla chips to about 10 or so. Priced about right.

Applebee's: Some of their lunch combos and 2 for $20 menu items are reasonably priced and the calorie count isn't outrageous, but their onion soup and food overall tastes processed and salty.

Olive Garden: Most entrees, especially the non-pasta ones, are overpriced. Still most good servers will let you eat all of the soup, salad and breadsticks you want, so that may be part of the price. I prefer the Zuppa Toscana.

Outback: The bloomin' onion is one of the most awful things anyone, diabetic or otherwise, can eat, but you still have to get it. The combo of the app, steak and dessert for $14.99 isn't bad, but I save the dessert for later or give it to my wife. The Outback makes the best French Onion Soup of any chain restaurant. The local Outback in State College has screwed up our orders lately, and made us wait 25 minutes for a messed up kids' order, so we may not visit them again for a little while.

Chili's: The 2 for $20 menu is reasonable, and the lunch menu can be pretty cheap. The southwest Chicken Soup is very good for 230 calories. Their chips and salsa are really, really, good, and, at dinner you can combine the pork and chicken fajitas for tons of flavor. Use just one tortilla to save carbs and cut out the optional rice and beans. They say to limit the tortilla chips to 10, but it is really hard. Their 1,500-2,000 calorie chicken crispers now claim to use natural white meat, begging Jim Gaffigan to ask the question, "What were they using before? Iguana meat?"

Cracker Barrel: I am OK here because everything on their menu is made from scratch, as long as you avoid blatantly high-carb foods like fried food and lumberjack breakfasts. Look for daily specials, which are priced well.

Pizza: Homemade pizza with organic dough and freshly shredded cheese is preferable, but sometimes you just have to indulge and visit the local pizzeria.

As I mentioned, home-cooked, non-processed food makes a difference. Most small-town places that make their own food are better, like the famous Original Waffle Shop in State College, Their home fries are amazing, but usually don't harm me too much. Local diners can be hit-and-miss.

What to eat... Cracking the carb code

Finally, shorts weather! 76 today, 89 tomorrow.

With my condition, I do have to be careful about what I eat as a diabetic keeping my blood sugar level. Aside from the standard 2000-calorie nutritional guidelines, I wasn't given any specific rules or diet, nor I was not told I could not eat red meat.

My wife wanted to try a probiotic diet, which basically is a bunch of dairy-type foods like kefir and kombucha that essentially taste like different kinds of puke. Not happening. I am told there are pills for this, so I will take them instead.

Next is the ketogenic diet. I am incorporating some foods from this diet, like guacamole and nuts. Sadly, most of us are not seafood and fish eaters here, and a lot of seafood is full of polluted ocean water.

First of all, it's important to stay hydrated. I was told 64 oz. per day minimum. I have my water bottle by my side at all times. I am told caffienated drinks don't hydrate. An added benefit is that many restaurants don't charge you for ice water.

Soda, pop, Coke depending where you are located: I miss it, but avoid it like the plague. It is full of sugar and chemicals, and no one, diabetic or not, should drink it. Diet soda takes away the sugar, but is still full of artificial sweetener and other chemicals, and just doesn't taste that good.

What I am thinking the secret is to get foods with zero carbs, and foods with moderate carbs and high fiber. Fiber slows down the digestion process, delaying the delivery of blood sugar. Organic and natural ingredients make a huge difference. Target has a decent selection of organic items, but the best place to shop is Trader Joe's. Any product with the Trader Joe's name on it has all-natural ingredients. Their salsas, bean dips, guilt-reduced guacamole made with Greek yogurt are all delicious and reasonably priced. I am trying to avoid processed foods altogether. If the ingredient list reads like a chemistry set, I don't buy it. Also, any homemade food is preferable to a processed or frozen food, but even Trader Joe's frozen foods have no preservatives or crap in them.

Wegmans has some good stuff, but too many rude, entitled people crowd the store, cut you off and give you dirty looks.

What still kills me the most is limiting my pasta consumption, although Liam doesn't like pasta much either. At least a reasonable amount of whole wheat pasta is edible for me.

At Weis, I literally did what health coaches told me to do and walk around the outside of the store. I got a lot of healthy food. Also, we sampled a lot of local businesses' foods at our local grocery store, and ended up buying them, specifically nitrite- and nitrate-free uncured sausage and bacon.

Also, as much as I loved everyone's food, it is nice to have control of my kitchen again.

Losing and Finding my Religion

First of all, thanks to everyone for reading. I only expected a few readers, but it's nice to hear feedback from people I know and don't know.

Also, with things finally calming down (slightly), we will start getting visitors from out of town. I am looking forward to seeing all of you.

Religion has played an interesting role in my life. Obviously, right now, it is stronger than ever. Let's start from the beginning. I grew up in Suburban Philadelphia and was raised Catholic. Weekly mass was the same silly ritual every week. You celebrated your first communion and confirmation and had a huge party. My parents put me in a pricey private Catholic school, and it was an absolute nightmare that I am still to unsuccessfully repress. Advice for parents: No matter how well your child is doing academically, never, ever skip them a grade. Supposedly schools don't do this anymore. Since I ended up in public school, we had to attend some godawful boring class called CCD every week. Everyone just did it because we are Catholics, and it's what Catholics do. Some people enjoy this, and that's all well and good. I got absolutely nothing from it, other than the fact that organized religion does nothing but pit people against each other and is a waste of time.

It was hard to find a pastor for our wedding because we weren't members of a church. Thanks to Terri Housel and their family pastor, we were married at Trinity Lutheran in Lansdale.

Jaci grew up in rural Pennsylvania, which is where we are now. It's safe to say there isn't quite as much to do up here. Going to church is an important part of life for many rural communities. She frequently brought up going to church, and taking the kids. I was very hesitant, but she made a good point when she insisted the kids have at least a starting point.

Our first church was a large church near Lancaster. We stopped attending. The pastor e-mailed to see what was going on. I responded my father had died and I needed some time to reflect. I received no response from the pastor, even though they continued to autodraft our donation every week. Bye.

Church number two. A smaller church, also in the Lancaster area. The pastor was a nice guy but kind of a ham. The church holds a picnic which we signed up for on a paper. We showed up and, despite sunny weather, there was no one there. Apparently, the picnic was cancelled and no one bothered to tell us. Strike two.

We then move to Centre County. At first, Jaci looked into churches that had a good kids' program. This brought us to Grace United Methodist in Centre Hall. I guess it is safe to say I was finally home. The congregation was younger on average than other churches we have been to, and many people came up to us and introduced themselves to us right away. Pastor Mark seemed really nice and down to earth. The only thing I don't like is the contemporary service because there is too much singing. But, if you go to the post on helpers, you will see how important the church and Pastor Mark have been on this journey.

Following this illness, I have discovered the healing power of faith and prayer. In addition to God, I have communicated with my father, who said he was proud of me, and my grandparents, who said they will protect me, because I need to be with my own grandchildren and watch them grow.

We have been to church once since the surgery. It was honestly one of the most emotional days of my life. I was so happy to see everyone, and the feeling seemed mutual. Also, God did communicate with me that day, and said I needed to live and pay it forward. That is the reason I am typing this right now.

What steroids do to your body

This post uses information from Duke University Hospital's Patient Binder.

Sorry, back to the negative. I had to take the steroid Decadron to keep my brain from swelling. I hope I never have to take it again. The worst was that, as a diabetic, it jacked up my blood sugar, and made me dependent on insulin. In other words, I can't eat a bite of food at a meal until I check my sugar, and get an insulin injection. Few things annoy me more than having food withheld from me, so I will be glad to go back to managing diabetes with just the Metformin pill.

Next was roid rage! Although I wasn't violent, I was constantly irritated, especially at the boys. Jaci thought I was demanding but not loving, and I walked away from a lot of arguments saying things like, "I don't care what you do, I am going to bed." Also, it's probably a good thing I wasn't driving, because drivers around here are either hot rodding jerks with a death wish or oldheads who go 10 mph below the speed limit. Also, to make a right turn, they begin to slow down 1/2 mile before the intersection and turn the corner at about 5 miles per hour. If you pass them while you are turning, you are guaranteed to get a dirty look. Getting the real brunt are the telemarketers selling credit cards and security systems. I would cut them off and say something like "I just had a major surgery, and I am waiting for important calls from doctors and nurses. DO NOT CLOG UP MY PHONE LINES WITH YOUR F-------- B-----S----! Do not call me again and take me off your list!" Finally, I am obsessive-compulsive about wasting food, so I completely freaked out when Jaci, who honestly didn't know any better, left a plastic lid on a tray of food and we lost the whole dish.

Sleeplessness: Spent many nights staring at my feet or at the clock. The fact that the oxygen concentrator is a bit loud doesn't help. I am sleeping better with the CPAP, but still get up in the middle of the night.

Insiatable appetite: When I first got home, I had nearly constant snack cravings. I still crave tomato and vegetable juice with Sriracha Sauce. I constantly crave salt, spicy stuff, and now I have even developed Sandy's sweet tooth.

Blurred vision: Check. I had to use reading glasses to see my phone and some books. That's also improving. I despise opthamologist appointments, and hate getting liquid dropped into my eyes.

Muscle weakness: Steroids weaken your thighs, so it was very hard to get up and move. Since the weaning began, I have had more energy to get up and move, wash dishes, do laundry, and panic during power outages.

My wife insisted to the medical team that I wean off the steroid as soon as possible.

Supposedly, the weaning is going well, because some people coming down off steroids get violent and angry, and I am taking it at least in stride.

Helpers

Following Fred Rogers' advice after 9/11 to look for and thank the helpers, this next post is dedicated to the people who help me and the people I am depending on through this.

Jaci: She is in the middle of this and she now has many roles. In addition to being a wife, she is now a caretaker and patient advocate. This is a lot to put on her, as you will see from a future post on steroids.

Our babies: They are getting the worst of this. Again, we basically had to abandon them twice during my surgeries. We decided that when we travel to Duke in July they are coming with us, and will attend a child education class on what I am going through. They are encountering lots of stress. Elijah (6) best expresses it by acting out and getting attention, and Liam (8) goes into what I call "squirrel mode" by keeping himself engaged by running back and forth around the house and spewing out random facts.

Medical personnel:

Boyd: Nurse who works for Dr. Jiang. Has been indispensable as a communication hub between here, Forbes and Duke.

Dr. Jiang: My primary care physician. Basically the center of the team. He is very thorough, knows what I am going through, and cares about me.

Dr. Snedeker: Head of the Forbes ER. It seemed like few things were harder for him than delivering horrible news to me and my family. He visited me several times before and after the surgery, which I won't forget.

Dr. Julian: The neurosurgeon who performed the first surgery. There are 4,400 neurosurgeons in the United States, and supposedly 125 who know how to complete a successful surgery. Like a lot of surgeons, he had a tendecy to be arrogant, but that usually means he knows what he is doing. I think he was one of the 125, because he was the head of Allegheny's neuro department, and was a fellow at Sloane Kettering hospital. Needless to say, he was happy when I told him that Dr. Friedman at Duke told him I had a good, clean surgery. Also. Jaci told him that he literally saved my life.

Maureen: Dr. Julian's PA. Even though she caused me unspeakable pain, I am still grateful for her help and prayers.

Mary: One of the few good nurses I had following the surgery. She kept telling me I would live forever because Jaci would keep fighting for me.

Dr. Lieb: The local oncologist in State College. Very friendly, knowledgeable, and is up on his research. Is more than willing to work with Duke. Since my treatment will be here, he will be taking more of an active role. As far as I am concerned, that's a good thing.

Dr. Patel: Radiation oncologist in State College. Young, friendly and thorough. Hopefully radiation treatment will be bearable with him.

Dr. Vlanovic: Neuro oncologist at Duke. Our consultation was literally her last day. However, she was able to tell me I had an IDH1 mutation, meaning the tumor may have developed over several years. IDH1 patients have a significantly longer life than most glioblastoma patients. This news alone made it worth the trip, as did the fact that they will monitor me after the initial treatment, and suggest trials and other possible life-prolonging measures.

Others:

Pastor Mark: Has been unbelievably helpful. (see a future post on my religious journey). Traveled to Pittsburgh to see us and prayed with us the night before the surgery.

Fred and Sandy: Jaci's parents. I think of them as parents, and they think of me as a son. They end up with the kids more than they should. Most of the burden falls on them. We really can't repay them.

Other family: Jaci's family thinks of me as family, and have taken me in. My aunt spent the week with Jaci while I was in the hospital. Others have done us huge favors, ranging from assembling furniture and heavy lifting. Our cousin dropped me a bunch of DVDs to watch while sitting around. I really wanted to watch Die Hard With a Vengeance, and, lo and behold, he gave us the special edition. It was a rare copy that even had the alternate ending, which the studio tried to hide.

Aunt Val and Uncle Biff: Thanks for the company and the love. We are looking forward to hopefully seeing you in November!

Graham and Robin: It is always fun to geek out with Graham as we watched Star Wars and other stuff. It was also great to talk to Robin, a teacher, about the "Marzano Research Institute," which promotes a 67-point research based plan based on common-sense concepts like grading, putting learning objectives on the wall, using a point system of 1-3 to assess the mastery of the objectives (separate from the letter grade), collecting needless data, and celebrating success. It turns out all this "research" is internal. So, the conclusion I came to is that I agree with Mark Twain that there are lies, damn lies, and statistics.

Makayla and Emma: We love you and are proud of you. Sorry you are caught up in this whole mess.

Other friends: Countless friends from high school, college, former co-workers and others have reached out with gift cards and dinners.

The congregation at Grace United Methodist: The church sent us many love offerings, too many. Also lots of sympathy cards.

The Hope Fund: Thanks to amazing co-workers donating holidays, I am still getting paid, but Jaci isn't. The fund is covering rent and car insurance.

TJ and Kathy: TJ is another warrior. He was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer 14 years ago. He was given a year to live, but is still very much here. Always a good person to talk to about my feelings and other issues. TJ's wife Kathy is still a patient advocate for TJ and relates to Jaci very well.

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Mandy: A natural-born leader who has rallied several people in the community. Organized a raffle that will literally raise thousands of dollars for us, as well as a food drive. Also went to Hershey with us, and has spent lots of quality time with Jaci. I hope someone recognizes her talents.

Erik Weber: A friend since high school, and another warrior kicking cancer's butt. Sadly, his non-Hodgkins Lymphoma came out of remission and he has a difficult course of treatment coming up. He is in all of our prayers.

Sara: Our chauffeur and babysitter during our latest trip to Duke. I can't thank her enough for the ride and support.

Joe Biden and Michael Bloomberg: The former vice president lost his son, Beau, to brain cancer a few years ago. He and the former New York mayor donated $1.25 billion to the Duke brain cancer center, hoping for a brain cancer "moonshot." Unlike some other problems, throwing money at cancer research will do some good.

A Series of Unfortunate Events

I am not someone who is narcissistic and posts all my problems on social media, no matter how minor, because, honestly, it's annoying and most people don't care. I have sleep apnea, but so do 1 in 5 Americans. I am a Type 2 diabetic, but there are 30 million other Americans who also suffer from diabetes. However, I am going to talk about my brain tumor, because this is a much more serious, life-threatening, life-changing illness. I don't plan on going anywhere, and I don't go by statistics. God has also communicated (see upcoming posts) and he told me I wasn't going anywhere, because I need to raise my kids, and pass on what I am learning. That is what I am going to do here. Also, writing is an outlet for me, and this will keep me from bothering the wife and kids. Like most people, I will give the bad news first and focus on what has happened to me over the past several months. This all started about the beginning of 2017 (or so I thought). I apologize for the amount of detail.

January: I begin to get headaches won't go away without Advil. I have to take it constantly. I sometimes get dizzy walking around work and usually sit down when I visit people's offices. I jogged during my lunch/exercise break, and vomited when I returned to my office. I thought I overexerted my 260-pound body, and the headaches/dizziness were diabetes symptoms. I visited my primary care physician, and had blood work done. His diagnosis was a Vitamin D deficiency. The one test rejected by insurance was a head CT scan (this is important) and I was told that it would get done if I was in an emergency room, even though it costs the insurance company more (also important).

February: We are moving. It seems a lot harder to lift and move boxes. On move day (2/24), we send our treadmill to Jaci's parents, Fred and Sandy. Both of them see me looking disoriented in the truck and called Jaci. They thought it was my diabetes. I urinate frequently and have had many accidents in the car, especially on snowy days when traffic is slow.

March: Jaci trains for a new job in Pittsburgh, about 3 hours from our home in Centre County, PA. I decide to take a week off from my job at Penn State, go along and sightsee in Pennsylvania's second-largest city.

Thursday 3/16: During the trip, Jaci hands me a pair of pants, and I am motionless, holding the pants. Medical professionals called this a seizure. The boys and I had fun on Mt. Washington looking down on the city, exploring the Carnegie Science Museum (a place as nice as the Franklin Institute for half-price and half the crowds). On Thursday, we venture out to the now-completed Flight 93 Memorial in Shanksville, about a 90-minute drive. It is a bit snowy and cold out. The visitor center is well-presented but nonetheless depressing. You can walk to the crash site, but I decided to drive because of the biting wind and cold. Despite my older son's protests, I drive past a sign that says road closed because I wanted to see the place these heroes died. My son keeps yelling as I keep driving, telling me I am trespassing. I park in the lot as it is being plowed and no one seems to care. We walk over to view the rock marking the impact point of the plane. We then walk back to the car and restrooms. I have another accident, even though the restroom is visible from where I am standing. We drive to return to the hotel in Cranberry Township west of Pittsbutgh. On the PA Turnpike, we get off at the New Stanton service plaza. We use the restroom, get coffee, drinks and snacks. I walk out to the car, and I get dizzy, stumble, and have to brace myself on my car. Two women approach me. I would have taken their picture if I have thought of it. They saw me and the kids in the car. They asked if I was drinking. I said no. They asked me how long my drive was. I said about an hour. They said I would endanger my children by driving. Normally I would tell most people to go away and mind their own business, but I did not argue or protest, and I am not sure why. I then call Jaci. I drive five miles down the road to the next exit, and Jaci's future boss just happens to live in New Stanton. We meet at a Sheetz store. We go to an emergency room. We avoid UPMC because they supposedly had a fight with Highmark, who is my provider, use Allegheny Health Network, and end up at the emergency room at Forbes Hospital in Monroeville, which is the Pittsburgh equivalent to Plymouth Meeting or Conshohocken near Philadelphia. We are guessing we are here for diabetes complications, and nothing more.

In the ER, they take me for a head CT (remember this?). After the CT, the doctor in charge of the ER visits me, and says to all of us, "We found something. It concerns us. We are admitting you to the hospital." At this point, everything becomes a blur to me. We are then admitted to the neurology unit. A neurology PA told us I would need surgery on my brain.

Friday 3/17: Jaci wants to get me to State College or Hershey to get my surgery done closer to home. Some hospitalists at Forbes don't disagree. However, the neurologist performing the surgery strongly advises against leaving Forbes because of the possibility of a grand mal seizure during transport, which could be fatal. Brain resection surgery is scheduled for early Monday morning.

Monday 3/20: My surgery takes place. It is at least a 6-hour procedure. The doctor tells my wife and several people waiting with her that he took out 85-90 percent of the tumor.

Friday 3/24: After a few days of recovery in the ICU and 5th floor, We head home. I remember everything, but I am a little foggy. I thought it was because I was they had me high on morphine in the ICU. We decide to shoot for the Brain Cancer Center at Duke University Hospital because they are the best place in the country to treat this kind of cancer. We hear from Dr. Friedman at Duke, who told us that I had a good, clean surgery, and were willing to consult with me. The consult was scheduled for April 18 (right after Easter). We are very excited to get down there.

March, April, May: Central Pennsylvania is in a seemingly endless pattern of unseasonably cold weather and rain, with highs in the 40s to 60s, and lows in the 20s and 30s. My sutured head had to stay covered. Not a good time to go outside and get fresh air, which is what I need. This should finally break in the middle of May. However, Uncle Biff will be here Memorial Day weekend, and I wouldn't be surprised if there is a foot of snow when he shows up.

Monday 3/27: The neurosurgeon called, and told Jaci that it was a grade-4 glioblastoma (that's as bad as it gets), and most people live 12-18 months after this surgery. My wife told him I am an individual and not a statistic. He agreed and encouraged us to look for clinical trials.

Monday 4/3: We go to our first consultation at Penn State Cancer Center in Hershey, about a 1 1/2 hour drive. The doctor we meet with suggests standard radiation and chemotherapy, and mentions nothing about clinical trials until Jaci mentioned it, and it seemed like an afterthought. It seemed like he knew very little about me or my situation beforehand, and was not prepared. He entered the room with two young, female PAs who had to also examine my eyes and look at my sutures because he couldn't see them and did not have glasses. The PAs removed my sutures. Later on in the visit, a disheveled-looking man almost wanders into the consultation room. My wife thought he was a disoriented patient, and right before she asked him what he was doing, he identified himself as another PA. He then said something about everyone saying how great Johns Hopkins was but was overrated, and left the room. We mentioned Duke to the BSN, and she claimed to agree, but Jaci said her body language was practically shock. The neuro oncologist studied at Duke, but did not want to recommend it. We left there with no intention of coming back because of the doctor's lack of preparation, his suggestion of standard treatment and nothing more.

March, April: I sleep with my CPAP in the hospital and at home. The mask is on the incision, and the parts are not clean. This is my own fault, and I will pay the ultimate price very soon.

Saturday 4/15: The day before Easter, and two days before we leave for North Carolina. We all take a walk so the boys can play at a playground. My wife noticed greenish pus coming from part of my incision, something not seen so far. Despite my loud protests, Jaci and her former supervisor, an RN, decided that we needed to go to the ER at Mount Nittany. The ER doctor popped some more lesions, leaking more pus. As gross as it was, the doctor thought it was superficial and would not be a problem. He called Forbes Hospital, and even though he thought otherwise, the neurosurgery team at Forbes insisted that we go back to Pittsburgh immediately. We weren't even allowed to stop for food, and we haven't eaten since lunch. On the night before Easter, we basically dumped our kids with Jaci's parents and took off. We arrived at Forbes at 11:00 pm, and Jaci understandably wanted to talk to a doctor immediately. She spoke to one on the phone who told her that we are out here because the incision is infected, and a second surgery would be needed to irrigate and disinfect the entire incision, and we would miss our consultation appointment at Duke.

Easter Sunday: Surgery #2. The procedure took about 2 hours. The entire incision from one side to another was irrigated, disinfected and re-stiched. My head was killing me when I came to, but the fog was lifting and I already felt more like myself. We were told that the timetable was pushed back, and radiation and chemo could not start for another 4 weeks.

Monday 4/17 - Thursday 4/20: Hospital stay is, for the most part, horrible. As Jim Gaffigan said, why do they have all these expensive machines that go beep and they can't even get the food right? I am on the ADA recommended 1800 Calorie diet. The worst of the worst is the "Herb Baked Chicken" which was somehow under-cooked and dry at the same time. If I wasn't on a crap-ton of antibiotics and ready to die from hunger, I probably wouldn't have eaten it.

We were in contact with Duke. Our consultation was pushed ahead 10 days to Thursday 4/27. What upset us the most is that we could not participate in a trial concurrent with radiation and chemo at Duke. This devastated us at first until we discovered the upshot. We were going to spend 6 weeks at Duke, and bring the kids with us. Instead, this would enable me to receive chemo and radiation at home. Not only would this save us a bunch of money, but it would allow me to undergo treatment and recover around family and friends.

Back to the hospital recovery. I was hooked up to an IV which pumped antibiotics into me, and could not move without help. I had to use bottles to urinate, making a mess on me and the bed. Despite the fact that a PT and OT insisted that I get out of bed to walk, lazy daytime nurses were not willing to help with anything, leaving my wife to clean, bathe me and make the bed. I barely walked that entire week, making me feel that much worse when I got home.

Friday 4/21: Discharge day. Could not possibly be worse. I underwent a sleep study using an oxygen canula during the week which helped the sleep apnea and was documented. One of the case managers, who was downright rude to my wife, said the oxygen was denied before even sending an appeal to the insurance company. This was not an option, so we contacted our DME provider ourselves and got it done with them directly. Also, I had two blood drains in my head. I felt a new definition of the word agony as a very nice PA (no sarcasm this time) yanked the two sutured drains out of my head and then put four staples into my head when I was fully awake and alert. Finally left mid-afternoon and stumbled in the door early evening. Thanks to not moving and steroids (see upcoming post) I felt like death warmed over. Because the fog had lifted, I remember all this a lot better.

Monday 5/2: The weather fun continues as a severe line of thunderstorms passes through the area. This knocks the power out for more than 24 hours. The kids are home from school, and they are antsy because they can't charge their Kindle Fires. I have to use the car to charge our phones because we are making and receiving many phone calls. We lost everything in the fridge, including several meals prepared by other people, a few pounds of lunchmeat and cheese, two gallons of milk, and a bunch of groceries we bought that day. Rebersburg, where Jaci's parents live and the kids go to school, was hit by an EF1 tornado. Also, because it is cold outside, it gets cold in the house.

Thursday 5/11: My friend Dave is over so we can eat dinner and watch Jeopardy as I prepare for an online test. Once again, the power goes out. This time it's a fire in the area. Still, I go into panic mode and toss all perishables into the outside freezer. I also freeze my insulin, rendering it useless. It should be noted that insulin pens are not cheap. Dave proves yet again to be a great friend as he stays with me until Jaci and the kids get home to make sure I am safe.

Finally, to cap it all off, I can't drive, meaning it is illegal for me to drive because of a seizure risk.

Things have finally been improving over the past few days as I am weening off the steroid, I am better able to move under my own power, and the weather is finally normalizing. I have been fitted for a mask, and should start radiation and chemo within the next couple of weeks.