NFL Week 3: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

THE GOOD

How about them Eagles?: On Week 1, they beat a joke of a team. On Week 2, they beat a mediocre team on the road. On Week 3, they beat what many people thought was a playoff contender with a bruising defense. Furthermore, they held them to a field goal. Carson Wentz continued to look impressive with his precise passing and quick release,  and Jim Schwartz's defense bottled up Big Ben and the Steelers' offense. They better take advantage of him as defensive coordinator while they can. I have a feeling he will be a head coach somewhere next year. This is the first 3-0 start for the Eagles in several years, and, so far, this looks like a team that could be going back to the playoffs. The Eagles now go into an early bye week, which is kind of unfortunate, because this might stop their momentum. However, they face a Detroit squad in a couple of weeks that has its share of problems, including a defense that was flattened by "A.A. Ron" Rodgers and the Packers.

Ex-Eagles: Shady McCoy, now a Buffalo Bill, ran roughshod over the hapless Jets for the Bills' first win of the season. Sam Bradford had another decent outing in a win over the Panthers, and the Vikings, like the Eagles, are a surprise at 3-0. Everything will be fine until Bradford gets injured.

National anthem protests continue: Ever since Colin Kapernick staged his protest by not standing for the Star-Spangled Banner, several players, including some Eagles, have protested in one way or another, annoying many rednecks, I mean, red-blooded Americans. I won't give you my personal opinion on the matter other than to say the Constitution and its amendments are the supreme law of the land. Believe it or not, there was a game on Monday night during the debate. Few Americans seemed to notice. What the game did have was the best show of unity I have seen so far this season: Both teams formed a circle on the field and held hands. This made a very important point: What the anthem and the recent protests symbolize is bigger than the game and both teams playing it. Well-done, gentlemen!

Big Man TD: Nothing is more fun to watch than a big guy taking it to the house. This week, it was the Rams' Ethan Westbrooks picking up a fumble and going all the way.

THE BAD

This week in the Mistake By The Lake: I feel so bad for Cleveland fans. On Wednesday, rookie wideout Corey Coleman, chosen 15th overall in the draft, broke his hand in practice. On Friday, kicker Patrick Murray tweaked his knee in practice, forcing the team to scramble and bring in ex-Eagle Cody Parkey. Then comes Sunday. The Dolphins are also 0-2, so someone has to win this game. The Browns showed some signs of life, with Terrelle Pryor becoming the Swiss Army Knife of football players catching 8 balls, playing a few downs as safety, and even completing a couple of passes. Parkey shanked 3 field goals, including one at the end of regulation that would have won the game. Instead, the game went into overtime, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Sacks and interceptions galore: Who let these pass rushers loose? Normally decent QBs ate the turf  and threw to the other team numerous times. In a loss to the Vikings, Cam Newton, last year's league MVP, was picked off three times and was sacked a whopping eight times. The Purple People Eaters are back! Carson Palmer, who is usually good at getting the ball off quickly, threw 4 INTs and went down 5 times. Ivy Leaguer and Jets QB Ryan Fitzpatrick threw 6 interceptions and ate the turf 4 times. His QB rating was an abysmal 18.2. By the way, your QB rating would be 25 if you threw every single pass into the ground. I don't blame Fitzpatrick here, I blame the coaches for not benching him to see if backup Geno Smith could turn things around.

Non-football news: The Dolphins had a moment of silence for Marlins pitcher Jose Fernandez, who died in a boating accident at the age of 24. He was not only one of the best pitchers in baseball, but also, by many accounts, a nice and charismatic guy. He defected from Cuba, and leaves behind a pregnant girlfriend. Very sad.

THE UGLY

Adventures in officiating: The pass interference call on Lions DB Nevin Lawson was a spot foul worth 66 yards, supposedly the longest NFL penalty in 15 years. It reopens the debate as to whether DPI calls should all be 10 yards, like OPI penalties. Upon further review, the league said this wasn't even a foul. Giants center Weston Richburg is the first player to be ejected under the league's new 2 & DQ rule. The Eagles' Kenjon Barner is inexplicably flagged for somersaulting in the end zone.

Finally: The Giants' Odell Beckham Jr., whose ability is overshadowed only by his ego, had a tough day facing off against the Potomac Basin Indigenous People's Josh Norman. He decided to take out his frustrations on the kicking net, but the net was having none of it.

Someone had some fun with it here.

Star Trek's top 10 characters and episodes

Sorry, this took me longer than I thought. As Star Trek turns 50, it’s time to look back and see what made this fictional universe so great. Here is a countdown of what I thought were the best characters and episodes in the Star Trek television universe. Keep in mind these are from the five television series that have aired. They must be permanent, regular cast members, so that is why Q, Gul Dukat, or even Guinan are not on this list. Also, I have never seen an episode of the animated series, so that is why  you won’t see any of those episodes. Also, there are no characters or episodes from Voyager or Enterprise, because those shows are both awful. For more about the movies, go to my ranking of the Star Trek movies here (soon to be updated when I see Star Trek: Beyond). Finally, there are spoiler alerts all over the place here, and if you are not a regular Trek viewer, you won’t know what I am talking about half the time. Here we go, starting with the memorable characters of Trek:

Honorable mention: Wesley Crusher (Cadet, TNG) - I wanted to show some respect to what is possibly the most hated character in the history of Star Trek. I don’t think the character itself is that bad, and Wil Wheaton seems like a nice enough guy. Besides, Troi, and, as Q put it, her “pedantic psychobabble,” grated on me a lot more than Wesley did. The problem with this character was the writing, particularly in TNG’s shaky first season. He is a classic Mary Sue character, meaning he is the one who swoops in, solves the problems, and saves the ship week after week. This would be okay once, but was more than a little nerve wracking after several times, especially considering that there were hundreds of highly trained Starfleet personnel throughout the ship. The best appearance of his character was when he was no longer a regular. The fifth-season episode, “The First Duty,” shows some true flaws in his character when he and other cadets try to cover up the death of one of their colleagues. A well-deserved dressing down from Picard straightens him out. 

10. Miles O’Brien (Chief Petty Officer, TNG/DS9) - I always liked the idea of having an enlisted man in Starfleet. He is battle-weary, having served on the front lines in skirmishes with Cardassians, but is also quite a handyman, so much so that he becomes chief of operations on Deep Space Nine. The character seems very down-to-earth and approachable. He is also portrayed as a family man. Because the writers discovered how much viewers empathize with this character, many episodes were devoted to making the character suffer as much as possible. I also liked how his friendship developed with Dr. Julian Bashir on DS9. At first, he thought Julian was arrogant, but they eventually became best friends, playing darts, and simulating historical battles in the holosuite.

9. William T. Riker (First Officer, TNG) - I like how much of a contrast Will Riker is to Picard. While Picard is the stern and serious leader, “Number One” isn’t afraid to have fun and befriend his crewmates, not to mention he is quite the ladies’ man. He holds a weekly poker game in his quarters, and is often seen having a drink in Ten Forward. Still, he is a smart and confident leader who is more than capable of running his own ship if he so desired. The episode “The Pegasus” really gives some good insight to his character, and shows how he has grown and matured into the character he became on TNG. Extra points because the character, like the actor, plays the greatest musical instrument ever invented.

8. Hikaru Sulu (Helmsman, TOS) - Ohhh Myyy. This may be more out of respect for the great George Takei, who is now a social media juggernaut, Broadway star and tireless activist for the LGBT community. As an Asian-American, he was part of Gene Roddenberry’s commitment to diversity. Takei is of Japanese descent. John Cho, who played Sulu in the recent reboot movies, was a little worried because he is Korean-American. However, Takei reassured Cho by saying that the character of Sulu represents all Asian-Americans. In addition to being an exceptional bridge officer, Sulu had many interests, including botany and fencing. He is one of the first Asian characters in any medium to be portrayed in a positive light instead of a Mickey Rooney-ish sterteotype or a villain. Keep in mind that TOS aired barely 20 years after World War II.

7. James T. Kirk (Captain, TOS) - I am sure many of you are now saying “What?!” and calling shenanigans on this list. Most people have Captain Kirk as the No. 1 character from Star Trek. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great character. He is bold and daring. He isn’t afraid to let the fisticuffs fly. He has had relations with a female of just about every species in the galaxy (which led to a great NSFW Eddie Murphy bit). He’s fun to watch, but is he actually a good captain? He takes an awful lot of risks, he has violated the Prime Directive more times than I care to mention, and he almost always beams down with the away team even though something awful happens to a redshirt almost every week. This ranking may also be a result of how I feel about the actor. I dislike Shatner almost as much as I respect Takei. Like his character, Shatner is a preening prima donna.

6. Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy (Ship’s surgeon, TOS) - He’s grumpy. He hates the transporter. He doesn’t like technology, because he is just an old country doctor.  He gets into frequent arguments with Spock about logic vs. emotion. He’s a doctor, dammit, not a mechanic, bricklayer or coal miner. The best aspect of the original series is the dynamic between Kirk, Spock and McCoy. Bones wears his emotions on his sleeve, while Spock suppresses them, driving each other crazy. Because the original Enterprise didn’t have a ship’s counselor (thank God), McCoy more or less served in this role, and was often a sounding board for Captain Kirk. The intrepid doctor also happens to get most of the best lines on the show.

5. Montgomery Scott (Chief Engineer, TOS) - This was Gene Roddenberry paying tribute to the fact that most of the world’s greatest shipbuilders were Scotsmen. Star Trek mostly focuses on relationships between people. Scotty’s most important relationship was between he and the ship. I loved the moment in “The Trouble With Tribbles” when the Klingons insult Captain Kirk and he just stands there. They then refer to the Enterprise as a “garbage scow” and Scotty goes nuts. One of the best TNG episodes happens to be when Scotty ends up on the Enterprise-D, and explains to La Forge to tell the captain how long it will “really take” to get the ship running again, making fun while still being respectful to one of TOS’s many cliches.

4. Worf (Chief of Security/Tactical Officer, TNG/DS9) - In TNG, the Klingons and the Federation are allies. Enter Worf, a Klingon raised on Earth by humans who eventually becomes the first of his species to serve in Starfleet. Although he is aware of his duty, and is one of Picard’s most loyal officers, he sometimes is in conflict because he has a hard time suppressing his warrior instincts. Thanks to Worf, we get to learn a lot more about Klingon people and customs. One of my favorite plot lines in the entire series is that Klingons are held responsible for the sins of their family for three generations. Worf’s father was falsely accused of conspiring with Romulans, and Worf accepts discommendation in order to keep the empire together. Worf also gets a lot of great lines and dry jokes throughout the series. My personal favorite is when Q asks the crew how he can prove that he lost all his powers and is now human. Worf responds curtly, “Die.” Unfortunately, in DS9, where the writing is usually strong, Worf loses this dry sense of humor and is overly serious. Maybe it’s because he was promoted.

3. Data (Science Officer/Second Officer, TNG) - They wanted a character like Spock for TNG, but not exactly like him. Data is an android who is not capable of expressing emotion. He doesn’t sleep or eat, but is twice as strong as any human. He spends his time endeavoring to become human, and mimicking human behavior, to varying degrees of success. A great example is when he asks Dr. Crusher to teach him to dance for an upcoming wedding. He masters a highly technical tap dance almost immediately, but is completely clueless when he is slow dancing, as he doesn’t know where to look and what to do, as he is unable to lead and steps on poor Beverly’s feet.

2. Mr. Spock (First Officer/Science Officer, TOS) - This is the character that made Star Trek the unstoppable franchise it is today. When Star Trek premiered in 1966, it broke new ground in that it had an African American and an Asian American in its cast. Another character was Mr. Spock, a half-human, half-alien hybrid with pointy ears, who suppresses his emotions. I give Gene Roddenberry credit for coming up with these ideas. Many actors would have just recited the lines in a flat, emotionless voice, resulting in a one-dimensional character (like Tuvok on Voyager). However, the late, great Leonard Nimoy was able to give some subtle hints of emotion such as the raising of the eyebrows, and how he said "fascinating" in a semi-interested voice. Also, his friendships that developed with Kirk and McCoy, and their frequent debates about logic vs. humanity are some of the elements that made the original series great.

1. Jean-Luc Picard (Captain, TNG) - Now, this is what a captain should be. Picard delegates authority, listens to other opinions before giving an order, is an outstanding negotiator, and has the utmost respect and trust for his crew. Picard is No. 1 because he is an exceptional captain, and a great, well-rounded character. Patrick Stewart, a Shakespearean actor, is far and away the best actor on any of the Star Trek shows. Also, as far as I know, he is the first bald leading man on television. A conversation between Stewart and Gene Roddenberry went something like this after they decided that Picard wouldn’t wear a wig:

PS: Is anyone bald in the 24th century?

GR: Why would anyone care?

One of Picard’s best moments for me is during the episode “Yesterday’s Enterprise.” As the future is altered, Picard’s entire personality is altered with it. He is still Captain Picard, but he is now a wartime captain instead of someone leading a mission of peaceful exploration. Also, he drops his best quote during this same episode: “Let us make sure history never forgets the name ... Enterprise.” Finally, as proven in “Deja Q” and other episodes, he can pull off humor. When Q explains to Picard that he chose to become human because Picard “Is the closest thing I have to a friend,” Picard’s facial expression (including the trademark face-palm) is absolutely priceless.

Moving on to the best episodes.

10. “The Visitor” (DS9, season 4, episode 2): Gene Roddenberry said Star Trek wasn’t about science and technology, it is about people and emotions. This episode is a perfect example of this philosophy. Jake Sisko loses his father, Ben, on a freak accident on the Defiant. He spends the rest of his life looking for him as he becomes a renowned author. Old Jake tells his life story to an aspiring author on the same day he has to make the ultimate sacrifice to save his father. Obviously we know Captain Sisko, the main character in DS9, is not dead, but that’s not the point of this episode. It is about the relationship and bond between a father and son. Both Avery Brooks and Tony Todd (best known as Candyman and Worf’s younger brother Kurn) give great emotional performances. The episode is able to tell this story without becoming mushy or manipulative, and some of the flashback scenes are great fun to watch. This is separate from DS9’s serialized story about the Dominion War, but stands out as one of the best episodes of this show.

9. “Space Seed” (TOS, season 1, episode 22): Here we meet one of the greatest characters in all of Star Trek: Khan Noonien Singh. Khan was a ruthless leader from the 20th century who fought in the Eugenics Wars over genetically modified humans. In 1996, Khan and his followers were placed into suspended animation and sent out into deep space (Funny how I didn’t see this in any newspapers in 1996). The derelict craft was retrieved by the Enterprise. Khan is a grateful guest at first, but eventually reverts to his old ways and wants to conquer the Enterprise. He tries to do so by using his charisma to convince the crew that he is right (this sounds like this year’s presidential election). My only problem is that he is able to easily seduce his future wife, Marla. I don’t care how alluring Khan is, no woman on a television show in 2016 would be as submissive as Marla MacIvers was. Eventually, Kirk exiles Khan, MacIvers and his people onto an uninhabited planet, setting the stage for the greatest Star Trek movie ever made. Ricardo Montalban makes this episode unforgettable, and you almost believe what he is selling, just like the Corinthian leather in the Chryslers that he went on to hawk.

8. “The Measure of a Man” (TNG, season 2, episode 9): This is when TNG was still pretty shaky. There were some good episodes like this one and “Q Who,” which chillingly introduced the Borg. This was the best episode of TNG up to this point. Someone decided that Data was property of Starfleet, and ordered that he be dismantled so that they can create more androids. A court martial in deep space takes place with Picard defending Data, and Riker acting as his prosecutor (this office has no staff yet, so officers have to moonlight as attorneys). The writing is top-notch, and convincing arguments are made for both sides of the issue. This episode is full of memorable moments, such as Riker literally turning Data off, and Picard making a Big Important Speech (tm) about the potential ramifications of this case:

“The decision you reach here today will determine how we will regard this creation of our genius. It will reveal the kind of people we are; what he is destined to be. It will reach far beyond this courtroom and this one android. It could significantly redefine the boundaries of personal liberty and freedom: expanding them for some, savagely curtailing them for others. Are you prepared to condemn him [Commander Data] – and all who will come after him – to servitude and slavery? Your honor, Starfleet was founded to seek out new life: well, THERE IT SITS! Waiting."

Through this whole ordeal, Data is purely logical, and holds no grudges against Riker or the Starfleet officer who ordered he be dismantled, simply because he is not capable of expressing such emotions. Like many Star Trek episodes, this looks at both sides of a moral dilemma. Unlike many Star Trek episodes, it is not preachy or pedantic.

7. “The City on the Edge of Forever” (TOS, Season 1, Episode 28): Many consider this to be the best episode of Star Trek. Not quite, but it’s close. A loopy Dr. McCoy jumps through a time portal to the 1930s and alters history. Kirk and Spock follow him to restore the timeline. They meet Edith Keeler (Joan Collins), who Spock finds out leads a pacifist movement delaying the United States’ entry into World War II, allowing Hitler’s German empire to take over the world. The ending is truly devastating as Kirk, who has fallen in love with Edith, has to allow her to die to preserve history. Shatner even manages to pull off some decent acting here. Many of Star Trek’s best stories concern time travel, and this emotional episode is no exception. This is a great episode for someone who has never watched an episode of “Star Trek.”

6. “In The Pale Moonlight” (DS9, Season 5, Episode 19): DS9 is a great series, and the best-kept secret in the Star Trek universe. A great portion of the show is devoted to a war with the Dominion, a sort of evil version of the Federation that comes through the wormhole, forms an alliance with the Cardassians, and tries to take over the Alpha Quadrant. Realizing that the Federation alliance is losing the long Dominion war, Sisko persuades the Romulan Empire to join the fight, and does so using the means of deception and even murder. It's a good thing Gene Roddenberry wasn't alive to see this episode, because it is the opposite of his idealistic vision of the future. Nevertheless, this is a refreshingly dark and compelling episode. As morally reprehensible as Sisko's actions were, lives were likely saved. These are often the kinds of decisions leaders need to make in wartime.

5. “The Inner Light” (TNG, Season 5, Episode 25): Here’s another emotionally wrenching episode that proves that special effects and explosions aren’t needed for a great episode of this show. An alien probe incapacitates Picard, who then wakes up in a small village. Everyone calls him Kamin, and, over the course of 30 years, he raises a family and has grandchildren on this planet. We find out in the end that the planet is dying, and the probe is launched in the hopes it will teach others about their civilization so it will live on, in a way. This episode is emotional and heart wrenching without becoming sappy. Patrick Stewart, exceptional as always, manages to sell this episode. This episode will have you thinking long after you are done watching it.

4. “The Trouble With Tribbles” (TOS, Season 2, Episode 15): Some of the best Star Trek episodes do a good job using humor. This episode, possibly the most famous and well-known episode of the original series, is the best example. Crew members bring back Tribbles, small friendly furry creatures, from a space station. The problem is that they are literally born pregnant, and reproduce faster than rabbits. This episode is chock full of classic scenes, such as the bar brawl (see my comments on Scotty above), the thousands of dead Tribbles falling on top of Kirk, who then quips “Close that door!” Finally, Scotty is able to get rid of the Tribbles. After giving Kirk the runaround, he finally reveals that he beamed all of the creatures to the engine room of a Klingon ship “Where they’ll be no tribble at all.” Roll credits!

3. “Mirror, Mirror” (TOS Season 2, Episode 4): My personal favorite episode of the original series. Kirk, Scotty, McCoy and Uhura are involved in a freak transporter accident, and are transported to an alternate universe and the first thing they see is Spock with a goatee! In this barbaric mirror universe, crew members kill their superiors to get promoted. Mirror Spock is the highlight of this episode. Even though he is as ruthless as many of his crewmates, he still has the even temper and logical thought process that Spock is known for. Kirk uses logic to convince Mirror Spock to change things before returning to where he came from. In Deep Space Nine, characters return to the Mirror Universe several times, where we do find out that Spock was able to change some things and attempted to bring some peace to the mirror universe.

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2. “Yesterday’s Enterprise” (TNG Season 3, Episode 15): Another time travel story that is great fun to watch. A rift in space causes the Enterprise-C to travel forward in time. The disappearance of this ship from its timeline significantly alters the future. The Federation is on the losing end of a brutal war with the Klingons. The best parts of this episode are the subtle differences... The Enterprise is now a warship, the bridge has changed, and Worf is conspicuously absent. Tasha Yar is alive and Picard’s whole demeanor has changed. Also, we see a woman as a captain years before Voyager and Captain Janeway. Luckily, Guinan is able to let Picard know that the timeline is wrong. This episode is full of memorable moments, like the action-packed battle scene at the end of the episode, Christopher McDonald’s memorable guest appearance as a crew member of the Enterprise-C, and what could possibly be the best quote in all of Star Trek besides the opening monologue.

1. “Best of Both Worlds, Parts I and II” (TNG Season 3, Episode 24; Season 4, Episode 1): “The Walking Dead” showrunners take notice: This is how to pull off a cliffhanger. The Federation's most ruthless enemy, a race of cybernetic organisms called the Borg, kidnap Picard and turn him into a Borg, so they can gain a tactical advandage for an attack on the Federation and Earth. This is as good as Star Trek got on the small screen. The stakes were high, and there were even rumors that Patrick Stewart did not renew his contract, so we didn't even know if Picard was coming back. The episode ended with Riker giving the order to fire on the Borg ship while Picard was on it, and the screen then faded to black with the words "To be continued," meaning this was a season-ending cliffhanger, and this is before lots of shows used cliffhangers as gimmicks to keep viewers. Even though it was a long time ago, I remember it being a very long summer. The second part didn’t quite live up to the expectations set by Part I, but it is still top-notch Trek, and boasted movie-quality special effects during the intense battle scene where Picard is retrieved from the Borg.

NFL Week 2: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Okay, when I said this would be a one-shot deal, I guess I lied, because enough happened in the world of pro football this week for me to incoherently blabber some more.

THE GOOD

The Eagles are 2-0! And this time they beat what many perceived as a decent team, although their offense was kind of a mess. I tempered my excitement about Carson Wentz last week (although football fans didn't because Wentz passed Colin Kapernick as the top-selling jersey in the league), because the Eagles were playing a glorified Pop Warner team. This week, they matched up against a defense that was a bit more competitive, and Wentz was up to the task. He didn't get as many yards, but played mistake-free and managed to score his first passing TD as a pro. I think it is almost time to get excited about this guy, because, even though it was only his second game in the NFL, he is playing like a seasoned veteran. His passing is precise, and he does a great job reading the defense and calling an audible if he sees something he doesn't like. He also took a few nasty hits and got right up. This is the type of hardworking player the Philly fans want to see. This sets the stage for the "Turnpike Bowl" against their cross-state rivals, the Steelers, who are also 2-0. Many are already comparing Wentz to Big Ben because of their style of play, and the fact that they are both big dudes that went to small colleges. If the Eagles win this one, it will truly be "Wentzylvania." Steelers coach Omar Epps, I mean Mike Tomlin, being the gentleman that he is (no sarcasm this time), complimented Wentz on his good play.

Denver's defense is on fire, scoring two TDs (one more than the offense managed to score). Aqib Talib may be a douche nozzle, but I am sure the Broncos were glad to have him after a 46-yard pick-six play.

In another instance of athletes playing better after they leave Philly, Sam Bradford looked great leading the Vikings to a win and outplaying Aaron Rodgers in a big rivalry game over the Packers.

Football returns to Los Angeles for the first time in 22 years. No one seemed to notice, other than the 90,000 plus fans packing the Coliseum, which, somehow, does not have a corporation's name slapped on it.

THE BAD

Most games were close last week, but there were a few blowouts this week. Carolina beat Chip Kelly's Niners 46-27, the Cardinals humiliated the Bucs 40-7, and the Chargers put the hurt on the lowly Jags 38-14. In the Seahawks' 9-6 loss to the Rams, neither team managed to reach the end zone. I've seen higher scoring hockey games! The Seahawks have scored a whopping 15 points in 2 games this season. In addition to the SeaSlugs, the Giants also won without scoring an offensive TD. The Rams have 1 win and 0 TDs.

Injuries: Another bad week. Minnesota star RB Adrian Peterson tore his meniscus. He wants to play this week, but I think reality will tell him otherwise. Chargers RB Danny Woodhead is gone for the season. Patriots QB Janeane Garofalo, I mean Jimmy Garoppolo, is out. Next in line is rookie Jacoby Brissett. If he is hurt, the emergency backup is wideout Julian Edelman. I wonder if the Pats will sign someone as a Band-Aid until Tom Brady returns from his suspension. Unfortunately for them, the list of free agent QBs is short, with former Eagle and convicted dog killer Michael Vick as the biggest name on that list (Update: The Pats said they will not sign another QB before Thursday's game).

THE UGLY

Adventures in officiating: Late in the Steelers-Bengals game, Bengals wideout Tyler Boyd lost control of the ball. The ruling on the field was a fumble, giving the ball to the Steelers, who went on to win the game. Although it looks like the ball hit may have hit the ground after his knee, there wasn't a clear shot of the play. Because there wasn't enough evidence to overturn the play, the fumble stood, icing the game for Pittsburgh. Also, unlike last year's playoff game, there was little drama between the two rival teams this time around, other than Adam "Don't call me Pacman" Jones talking trash after the game, if only to bring attention to himself.

God still hates the city of Cleveland: The woes continue for the Mistake by the Lake. Browns wideout Terelle Pryor made a big catch. He appeared to be flipping the ball back to the referee, and it hit a Baltimore player in the helmet. Pryor was flagged for taunting, backing the team up 15 yards and possibly costing them the ballgame. Also, with RG3 already out on an injury, Josh McCown suited up this week, only to injure his shoulder. Rookie Cody Kessler will start next week.

Update on the Potomac Basin Indigenous People: Kirk Cousins stunk up FedEx Field in a loss to the Cowboys. Supposedly a lot of the players were griping, and he and coach Jay Gruden had a come-to-Jesus meeting after the game, setting the stage for yet another QB crisis in Washington. The Native Americans have started 17 different quarterbacks since 2000.

Unemployment watch: Unless things miraculously change, Bills coach Rex Ryan and the poor bastard who coaches the Jags will not make it through the season.

Motor City Morons: The Detroit Lions racked up 17 penalties and punted on fourth-and-2 from the Titans' 39 during the fourth quarter in a game they really should have won. This is why good teams are good, and bad teams are bad.

NFL Week 1: The good, the bad, and the ugly

With week 1 of the 2016 NFL season in the books, I wanted to highlight want I liked and didn't like about the games, because a lot happened this week. This will probably be a one-time deal and not a weekly thing.

THE GOOD: 

The Games: The NFL couldn’t have asked for a better opening weekend. With the exception of the Eagles game and the two Monday night games, all the games were close, and exciting to watch. I am glad I was able to watch all the action unfold on my free preview of Sunday Ticket, which sadly disappears next week.

Young QBs: A bunch of new, inexperienced quarterbacks debuted as starters this week, and all of them looked at least decent. In the nationally televised first game of the season on Thursday, Trevor Siemian, who had, until then, thrown one pass in the NFL, had a decent game, and the team won thanks to good coaching. Rookie Dak Prescott started in place of an injured Tony Romo, and almost won the game if not for a bonehead play (more on this later). Since the Eagles sent Sam Bradford packing, Carson Wentz started his first game as a rookie, and was poised, calm and played a great game, throwing 2 TDs, no picks and earning a QB rating of 101. He is also more mobile than his lanky frame would suggest. His No. 11 jersey is now the team’s top-selling jersey. Eagles fans need to temper their excitement, though. Remember the Eagles were playing the lowly Browns. Their defense is so bad, Ryan Leaf could have had a good game against this team. As a loving Cleveland fan said, the Browns will put the 0-16 in 2016. I want to see how Wentz does against strong NFC East opponents like the Giants. Finally, the Pats played in Arizona on Sunday night. No Brady? No Gronk? No Problem. Once again, good coaching allowed virtual unknown Jimmy Garoppolo (No relation to Janeane Garofolo) to lead the Pats in a dominating performance against a team that many experts have picked to go to the Super Bowl.

The Raiders: New coach Jack Del Rio wants to change the perception that the Raiders are a team that loses season after season, and I think the team is going to shock a lot of people this year. The Raiders are down by 7 in the 4th quarter, and drive for a touchdown. There is about a minute and change left on the clock. Instead of kicking a (relatively) easy PAT for a tie, the offense manages to convince Del Rio to attempt a 2-point conversion, giving the team the lead. The conversion is successful and the Raiders win. I know the team talked him into it, but it was the coach’s decision in the end, and he showed some true balls attempting a conversion near the end of an away game. Upon further thought, it was probably the smart thing to do, because it may have been more difficult for the Raiders to win in overtime.

THE BAD

There are some teams that really do suck again. Cleveland, the L.A. Rams, the Redskins, and the Bills.

The Cowboys: They aren’t a bad team from what I could see, but once again, they found a way to lose. They were down by 1, and had to drive down the field quickly and kick a field goal.  However, with 12 ticks left on the clock and no timeouts, wideout Terrance Williams, instead of stepping out of bounds to stop the clock so the team could line up for a field goal, ran up the field, and got tackled. The clock continued to run down to zero, and the Cowboys became an 0-1 team. Many are saying he blew it for the team, but if he had run out of bounds, the next play would have been a 60-plus yard field goal attempt or a Hail Mary pass, so the Cowboys had little chance of winning either way. It is still entertaining to see the Cowboys lose because of a bonehead play.

Injuries: Chargers standout Keenan Allen is out for the season. Eagles TE Zach Ertz is out this week. Seattle QB Russell Wilson had his ankle "accidentally" stepped on by Ndamukong Suh, but should play this week. Cleveland QB Robert Griffin III, who the Browns gave up a lot to snag, is out for several weeks with a shoulder injury. Remember, God hates the city of Cleveland.

THE UGLY

Adventures in officiating: On Thursday night, Carolina QB Cam Newton took at least two helmet-to-helmet shots. None of them were called. In the Sunday night game, I believe it was New England who got a play off three seconds after the play clock expired, but were not called for delay of game. Carson Wentz was flagged for a false start. How does a QB get flagged for a false start?

The No-Fun League: The refs really dropped the hammer on celebrations this week, handing out poor sportsmanship penalties like they were candy. I am all for this penalty if it is a pre-planned celebration like something that was choreographed before the game, the Sharpie in the sock, the cell-phone call on the field, and just about anything that Terrell Owens or Chad Ochocinco did. However, this week, Niners wideout Michael Crabtree was flagged for throwing the ball in the air after a touchdown. Antonio Brown was penalized for twerking in the endzone. A bunch of Cardinals defenders were nailed for spontaneous celebratory dancing after sacking the QB, forcing a fumble, and recovering the ball! Not flagged were Victor Cruz’s salsa dancing and Cam Newton’s “Superman” gesture. Let the players celebrate. It makes the game more fun to watch.

Top 10 Facebook and social media pet peeves

Here are some things I am noticing a lot of lately as I am looking at Facebook have been getting to me, and I am going to vent about them, because I am becoming a grumpy old man.

A common theme you will see is what I think the purpose of social media should be... Discourse and interaction with each other. A lot of these pet peeves go counter to that.

I apologize if I offend anyone. I may personally be guilty of many of these, but these are just some bad habits all of us get into.

I couldn't narrow the list down to just 10, so here are some honorable mentions:

• The "Feet on the Beach/pool deck" photo: So overused and cliched, not to mention the fact that feet are ugly. Take a picture of the ocean or your kids.
• SomeeCards: About one in 100 of these are funny and/or witty.
• Dumb "brain teasers" like "Think of a dog's name without the letter 'A' in it": 95 of 100 people will get this wrong!
• Time-wasting quizzes like "What Disney character are you?" 
• Outright scams, like the Disney World ticket giveaway, $70 off a $75 purchase at Kohl's, and the ever-popular "Bill Gates is giving away money" scam, which still pops up every few months. Please use common sense, and Snopes if necessary. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Also, clicking on these links will often spread malware and do funny things to your Facebook account.
• "Facebook is changing their privacy laws! Don't let them share your pictures, etc." Obviously, a hoax.
• People who pimp their business on their Facebook account. Please use a separate account for that.

Now, for the real list.

10. "Copy and Paste" chain status updates:

Example:

A baby born after a miscarriage or loss of a baby is referred to as a Rainbow baby. I am forever grateful for beautiful rainbow babies of Family and Friends. Today we remember all babies born sleeping, the ones we've carried but never met, those we've held but couldn't take home, the ones that came home but didn't stay. Make this your status if you or someone you know has suffered the loss of a baby. The majority won't do it, because miscarriage, still birth and SIDs is still a taboo subject. Break the silence. In loving memory of all the angels too perfect for earth. 93 percent of people won't share this because they are heartless assholes.
If you care about this issue more than everyone else, hold finger down and copy and paste, do not share (heart characters, for god's sake, don't forget the hearts).

These can be for anything like cancer, AIDS, people eaten by dragons, you name it. Many of these, like this one, make a pathetic attempt to tug at the heartstrings.

First of all, who comes up with this crap? This one is poorly written, and I left it mostly unchanged (I added a couple of sentences for dramatic effect) to point out grammatical errors. I understand why people share this stuff, but if you really do care about rainbow babies, write something original, and ask if people have any stories to share about the subject. Again, social media is about generating discussion, not regurgitating what someone else has said.

At best, these are just nuisances that are harmless aside from the fact that they eat up bandwidth. However, some of these can be fraudulent, like the "paste this and you will get $20" messages. I even saw one saying you could win a Range Rover. Many of these are clickbait to spread malware or are phishing attempts.

9. Incorrectly attributed quotes:

Here are some fake quotes from Adolf Hitler, thanks to the gun lobby, who, once again, wants to scare people into voting for pro-gun laws and candidates. The one on the right is even rife with grammatical errors. There have also been many pearls of wisdom supposedly dropped by the late George Carlin, many of which are also fake. All I can say here is do a little bit of research before you drop one of these on to your Facebook status.

8. Inappropriately crude and sexist posts:

I might be okay with it if the joke is actually funny. The one above is not.

7. People who only post memes and share other posts:

If you see something funny or worth sharing, by all means, do it. But you should not make every single post something shared. Again, Facebook is all about discussion and discourse, so come up with your own stuff.

6. Selfie-happy people:

Again, if you just got a new haircut or something, that's okay. It's the people who put a selfie on their wall every day. This is almost always an obvious sign of narcissistic personality disorder. I even saw one person, who is no longer a friend, get a nose stud, and she made sure that side of her face was towards the camera, but didn't mention it, practically baiting someone to say, "Ooh, I love your new nose stud!" Needless to say, some idiot did just that.

5. Status updates for mundane things, and the ever-popular exercise brag:

Example: I ran 3.45 miles today and burned 800 calories. Yay me! (map included)

No one wants to hear about your trip to Walmart or Home Depot. If you go to the movies, at least tell us what you thought of the movie. Then there is the exercise brag. If it is a major accomplishment like running your first 5k or exercising for the first time after an injury, post away. But I am sick of seeing someone's morning run documented on Facebook on a daily basis.

4. Fake car news/clickbait sites:

This site, along with some others like Crow.com, are pure clickbait. They often have a picture of a crazy looking concept car, but when you click on the story, you go to a boring, useless story about 2016 Cadillacs. You will see no sign of the car pictured, because it is a 2011 concept car called the Ciel, and is not for sale. Supposedly the morons who create these sites make money every time some sucker clicks on the story. Somehow, Facebook allows this crap.

3. "Like and share if you agree" political memes:

You've seen these before. I have to admit, this one pictured gave me a chuckle. Other examples are "Obama should be impeached. Like and share if you agree." "Hillary should go to prison. Like and share if you agree." "Obama and Hillary want to abolish the Second Amendment. Like and share if you agree." Most of these come from Trump supporters, and the nationalist alt-right wing of the Republican Party, who are afraid of Muslims, gays, immigrants, and pretty much anyone who isn't a heterosexual white Christian male. Many of these are one-sentence thoughts with no explanation why Obama should be impeached, why a Muppet is better qualified to be president than someone with decades of political experience, or why the Democrats want to abolish the Second Amendment (By the way, they won't and they can't). This is because many Trump supporters, not to mention the candidate himself, have trouble expressing themselves in thoughts longer than one sentence. Instead of sharing 12 of these every day, please provide some explanation why this makes sense, or share an article supporting your point of view (which is likely from Fox News, Breitbart or NewsMax).

2. Anonymously bad-mouthing someone, or having an argument for all to see on Facebook:

Example: "Apparently someone forgot what true friendship means."

If you want me to defriend you, here is the easiest way to do it. We are all definitely capable of pissing each other off, but posting a comment clearly directed at one person is not the way to solve your problems. Airing your thoughts to the Facebook world instead of communicating, or even ignoring each other for a short time, is not productive. I have also experienced the breakup of two people because they put the whole thing, publically, on Facebook. Trust me, no one wants to know, and no one cares.

1. Vague-booking:

Example: "OMG, I am having such a bad day."

Here is another sign of narcissistic personality disorder. These posts practically beg people to respond "Oh no, what's wrong," and some idiot always does. The poster then usually responds, "I don't want to talk about it." Instead of airing problems on Facebook, they should see a therapist. This is not an insult, but a suggestion.

Batman v. Superman and the DC Extended Universe

Just to be cautious, I will preface this entry with a spoiler alert.

After seeing Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice, which was not entirely what I expected, I thought I would take a look at the world of comic book movies as a whole.

You might have heard that the Marvel Cinematic Universe has been mildly successful. Both of the Avengers movies and Civil War racked up more than $1 billion internationally. Since Iron Man came out 6 years ago, every single MCU movie has been a box office hit and, for the most part, a critical success. Seriously, there isn't one single bad movie in the bunch.

The results have been more mixed at DC. Superman Returns (the one with Brandon Routh) was a disappointment (although I did watch it recently, and it really isn't that bad of a movie), and the Green Lantern was an absolute mess. The Christopher Nolan Batman Trilogy, which took a gritty, realistic approach, was well-done overall, especially The Dark Knight, the second entry in the series.

Finally, the folks at DC and Warner Bros. decided to get their shit together and make a coordinated effort to create their own universe. After all, they also have their own set of iconic characters to work with including Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and the Green Lantern. So far, the jury is still out. Man of Steel was flawed, but entertaining overall. It tried to copy the gritty feel of the Batman movies, but that tone just doesn't work for Superman. Zack Snyder's directing was a bit overdone, and the prolonged fight between Superman and General Zod might have even topped the Transformers movies for the amount of property destroyed. I also didn't liked the contrived situation that was set up at the end that forced Superman to kill General Zod. At least Henry Cavill was a decent choice to fill Superman's tights.

Although Man of Steel was by no means a flop, the box office figures, particularly the international numbers, were a disappointment. At this point, the powers that be at Warner Bros. shelved a trilogy of Superman movies and decided Supes needed some help in the next movie, specifically in the form of Batman.

When Batman v. Superman came out earlier this year, it seemed like everyone, particularly Marvel junkies, was waiting for it to suck, and almost hoping for it to fail. It was (unfairly) beaten up by critics, and the studio was supposedly not pleased with the end result either.

I watched this on streaming video bracing myself for the worst, but I was pleasantly surprised. The darker, gritter tone worked this time, because this fits for a movie with Batman in it. The effects were top-notch, as they should be for a ginormous $250 million budget, and the pacing was good, even for a 2 1/2 hour movie. The fight between the two heroes and the battle at the end of the movie were both fun to watch. I did not get a chance to watch the even longer self-indulgent R-rated cut of the film, which many critics think is better. Anyway, I liked how they developed the main characters. Superman and Lois Lane held their own, and I thought Ben Affleck, despite the loud complaints about his casting, was surprisingly good as Bruce Wayne/Batman. The Bruce Wayne we see in this movie is a world-weary one, having fought badguys in Gotham for 20 years. Jeremy Irons is also a very good fit as Alfred Pennyworth. Gal Gadot was a good choice to play Wonder Woman, and it's about time we see this iconic character in a movie.

Although I liked this sequel better then Man of Steel, I would still call it flawed, but entertaining. Jesse Eisenberg's quirky portrayal of Lex Luthor was disappointing, especially after the rumors that Bryan Cranston was going to play Superman's arch nemesis. I also didn't like the fact that Batman and Superman finally started to get along after they found out that both their mothers (stepmother in Superman's case) were named Martha. Zack Snyder still has a tendency to over-direct, but it's not as obvious this time. Also, even though the dark approach works here, the movie had barely any levity or humor whatsoever.

Like Man of Steel, the movie was not a flop, but was again a disappointment. The fans showed up on opening weekend to give the film a strong start, and then the movie took an historic 81 percent nosedive on the second weekend. The studio was expecting this to hit the billion-dollar mark internationally, but fell short by about $125 million. Meanwhile, Marvel's Captain America: Civil War (which I haven't seen yet... Boo!) was loved by critics and audiences, and was another billion-dollar megahit.

After than the less-than-impressive results from the two DC Extended Universe movies, it looks like the folks at Warner Bros./DC are doing some course correcting. Next month, "Suicide Squad" comes out, and it would really be hard for a movie about a bunch of villains working together to help the good guys to not be entertaining. After that comes Wonder Woman, then the Justice League movie featuring a resurrected Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, The Flash, Aquaman and Cyborg. The previews from both of these movies featured a lot of witty humor, something which critics have said is missing from these movies. The powers that be also made a wise decision to take one of the best elements of "Batman v. Superman" and double down on it. Ben Affleck will be directing, co-writing and starring in a standalone Batman film, rumored to be titled "The Batman."

Again, the jury is still out on the DC Extended Universe. The Marvel movies are working so well because they deliver everything audiences want. They have great special effects, larger-than-life heroes, good stories (although they are becoming a bit formulaic), and lots of humor. It has gotten to the point where you see the Marvel name on a movie, and you know you will be entertained for 2 hours, which is why people go to the movies. Also, producer Kevin Feige is there to make sure everything fits into the big picture, but each movie does have its own individual style (to a point). Geoff Johns and Jon Berg will take on this responsibility for DC.

The DC movies (so far) have delivered good characters and effects, but are too heavy and dark overall, and are a little weak in the story department. They pale in comparison to the Marvel movies.

I am optimistic, because they are realizing these movies are not clicking on all cylinders, and they are actively trying to do something about it, and understand that they need to lighten things up. However, they have a long way to go before they even come close to the well-oiled machine that is the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Update: The reviews for "Suicide Squad" are in, and critics generally say it is a mess. Supposedly this is the result of several factors: They had to rush post-production to make the release date, and there were two cuts of the movie: One from director David Ayer and the one credited editor; and another from Warner Bros., which was still hurting from the criticism that Bv.S was too dark and somber, and wanted to match the irreverent, "edgy" tone of the first teaser trailer. The end result was supposedly a chaotic, muddled mash-up of the two cuts. The movie needs to gross at least $750 million internationally to break even, and that is exactly what the studio is hoping for at this point... survival.

June 2017 update: According to reviews, It looks like "Wonder Woman" is actually a good movie. Coming from a largely unproven female star (Gal Gadot) and director (Patty Jenkins), I am told it is fun to watch and makes a good feminist statement without being overwhelming. Could this be the first billion-dollar blockbuster for the DCEU? We will see. Also, the trailers for "Justice League," using the song "Come Together," continue to look lame. Three months ago, Zach Snyder's daughter committed suicide. He tried to go back to work, but later said he couldn't do it. As a result, workhorse Joss Whedon was brought in to finish reshoots. As far as I know, Snyder still gets sole directing credit. My wife feels awful for Snyder, but I personally think this was done for other reasons. Finally, even though there is a perfectly good version of "The Flash" on TV, they are still making a movie. However, rumors are saying that Robert Zemeckis (Back to the Future, Cast Away) may be helming this movie. Sadly, I haven't been keeping up with the four "Arrowverse" TV shows because I have been a bit busy. 

July 2017 update: The latest on the "Flash" movie is that they are bringing in "Lego Movie" directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller to take over the franchise. Hopefully Zemeckis is still on the table. Wonder Woman has made it to $750 million worldwide.

Thoughts and observations from our vacation

Last week, our family traveled to Hilton Head Island for a much-needed vacation. Here are some interesting facts from the road, some overall observances, and some changes and habits I hope to break.

1. We stayed at the Comfort Inn in Danville, VA on the way down. It was Saturday night and there was a club in the hotel, pumping out loud music until after midnight. Interesting how this was not mentioned in any Yelp or TripAdvisor reviews. There was a Mexican restaurant attached to the hotel. They were nice enough to sing "Happy Birthday" to my now 15-year-old niece and put a big sombrero on her head, but the food was mediocre overall. Breakfast wasn't bad, and the hotel provided eggs and sausage.

2. We were pleasantly surprised when we got to Hilton Head. Our timeshare villa was very spacious, and the 2 full bathrooms were a godsend. The bed wasn't that comfortable, but I have slept in worse. It also helped that we were a 5-minute walk from the beach.

3. For most of the trip, the surf was very light, and the ocean seemed like a lake. This was good for the kids. Also, until now, I didn't know sand dollars were living creatures that use small hairs to move, and eat microscopic creatures in the sand. Beachgoers, take note: Many places have laws similar to Hilton Head... If you take living things out of the ocean, you can be fined $500 per item. That's all I am going to say about that.

4. Thanks to strict laws for developers and a permanent population that is very proud of their community, the island is beautiful. Even though nearly 300,000 people crowd the island during peak vacation season, the island seems to be a bucolic and peaceful place. Also, many areas of the island are preserved for wildlife. Even the Walmart parking lot is wooded. This is the cleanest, nicest Walmart I have ever been in.

5. Many people think "snotty golf resort" when they hear Hilton Head Island, and that is not at all the case. There are many things for families to do besides the beach. There are many miles of bike trails, a children's museum, great shops, and we even visited a petting zoo while the girls in our group were on a horseback ride. Most importantly, the McDonald's on the island has a play land! People are generally pleasant and laid-back, as they should be on vacation. Also, rentals on the island cost about half as much as the Jersey Shore, the island is a prettier and cleaner environment, and you don't have to deal with obnoxious people from the Northeast. Frankly, I find Ocean City, NJ, a lot snottier than Hilton Head.

6. On a similar topic, lots of stuff is cheaper in the South. I realize people don't make as much and the cost of living is a little bit lower, but it was nice to get a big bag of Cajun peanut mix for $3, and inflatable innertubes for the kids for $3 each.

7. Being able to buy beer and wine at any grocery and convenience store shows how ass-backwards Pa.'s liquor laws are (I remember explaining to a tourist from Virginia how to buy alcohol, and I remember him saying "What the hell is a state store?"). It looks like Pa. has finally decided to loosen things up a bit.

8. I was able to get to my two favorite restaurants on the island. One Hot Mama's still makes some great barbecue, and the Skull Creek Boathouse still serves up top-notch seafood. I had a gigantic bowl full of clams, snow crab legs, oysters, shrimp, mussels, potatoes and corn on the cob, all in butter sauce. I  haven't had oysters in a while, and I forgot how good they actually are. Both of these restaurants are casual, and are reasonably priced for the quality of the food.

9. On the other hand, we ate at Aunt Chilada's, a Mexican-ish place. We were 0-2 for Mexican food on this trip, because Aunt Chilada's served up some bland, mediocre food. My wife had Chorizo and Chicken Pasta. There wasn't much flavor, and the pasta was overcooked. Blech.

10. Out of all the souvenir shops we walked into, the place that sells the nicest souvenirs for the best prices is, you guessed it, Walmart.

11. During our last day on the beach, I decided to be macho and go without sunscreen, because I have this crazy idea that I can tan and not burn because I am half Italian. Once again I was wrong. I must have gotten sun poisoning, because we went mini golfing that night, and at about the second hole, I was dizzy and out of it, and had to go to the snack bar for more water. I made it through all 18 holes, but I couldn't concentrate, and wasn't able to coach my kids as they randomly banged the ball throughout the course. I checked my blood sugar when we got back because I thought I was hypoglycemic, but it was normal. I am guessing it was a combination of too much sun, not enough water, and overall vacation fatigue.

12. Out of all the things we did, nothing gave me greater joy than being able to see my family for the first time in years. My Aunt Val and Uncle Biff came to see us in Hilton Head. My aunt is one of the nicest people I have ever been around. My uncle and me had lots of great conversations about cars, planes and other stuff most people don't care about. Like me, my uncle is a Tucker man through and through. However, he reminds me so much of my late father and grandfather that it makes me sad in a way. Still, I can't tell you how much Jaci and I appreciated Val and Biff taking the 5-hour drive from metro Orlando to see us.

13. On a similar note, we stopped in metro Atlanta to see my cousins Graham and Robin. (Graham is Val and Biff's younger son). We were given nothing but the finest southern hospitality, with BBQ ribs for dinner, and mints on the bed (and a shark for my wife). It was great to catch up with them, and see their kids. Ryan, is another Tucker male who can even talk my son Liam under the table. I also met their adorable 3-year-old son Reese for the first time. My only regret is we didn't stay there longer. I will plan things out better the next time.

14. We were barred from swimming twice on this trip thanks to what is referred to in the pool industry as an AFR, or accidental fecal release. Once at our community in Hilton Head, and once when we went to the community pool near Graham and Robin's house. What are the odds?

15. Interstate 16 in Georgia, a long, straight highway that connects Savannah to Macon, is one of the most boring highways I have ever been on. It is up there with the Indiana Toll Road, the New York Thruway between Syracuse and Buffalo, and the worst of them all, the Atlantic City Expressway. It exists so Atlantans can get to the beach, and so the coast can evacuate in the event of a hurricane.

16. Until now, the only thing I knew about Macon is that they used to have a hockey team called the Whoopee. Get it? Now I know that Macon is very hot in the summer, they have a Chick-fil-A and a Chipotle, and used to have a hockey team called the Whoopee.

17. I had the "privilege" of driving through Atlanta. Unlike the woefully inadequate and narrow highways in Pa.'s cities like the Surekill Expressway in Philadelphia and the Penn Lincoln Parking Lot in Pittsburgh, The highways in Atlanta have lots of lanes. Some sections of I-75 in and around the city have as many as 15 lanes. It also helped that trucks can't drive through the city, instead having to use the Perimeter Highway. I took Uncle Biff's advice, and used the HOV lane through town. Still, given the amount of traffic as well as the highway's hills, curves and underpasses, it was a white-knuckle drive.

18. Speaking of that, I always thought Atlanta was the biggest city in the South. Although Atlanta has the largest metro area by far, the city itself has fewer than 500,000 people. Several southern cities like Charlotte, Memphis and Louisville are larger. For my purposes, Florida is not part of the South.

19. On our way home, we traveled in the car for several hours for three days in a row. In retrospect, that wasn't a good idea. We could have solved this problem by spending more time with our cousins.

20. We stayed at a Microtel in Princeton, WV, on the way back. It was nice enough, and the staff was friendly, but we didn't sleep well, the pool was tiny and not heated, and there wasn't much to choose from at breakfast, especially if you are trying to avoid carbs.

21. West Virginia ranked 50th in quality of life and for business among U.S. states. That's a shame, because it is a beautiful state full of mountains and scenery. Maybe it has to do with the fact that there are no major cities or cultural centers. The largest city in the state is Charleston, with 51,000 people.

22. We didn't get to see much of this scenery, because it was pouring for most of the last day of the trip as we drove through the state. Luckily there was a break in the rain so we could make a quick stop to see the New River Gorge Bridge. This steel arch bridge is more than 3,000 feet long and almost 900 feet above the New River. This is the third-highest bridge in the U.S., behind the Royal Gorge Bridge and the recently opened Hoover Dam bypass. The New River Gorge is similar in size and scope to the Pine Creek Gorge, also known as Pennsylvania's Grand Canyon. My niece and me were able to get a nice view below the bridge as we climbed down some 200 steps to the vantage point. It should also be noted that we had to climb up these same stairs. I am not as young as I used to be.

23. What makes this bridge unique is that it is made of steel. It is made with a special steel that is supposed to rust on the outside and stay strong on the inside. The steel latticework is beautiful, and the rust color helps it blend in with the natural surroundings. If the bridge was built today, it would probably be made from concrete, like the Hoover Dam Bypass.

24. Thankfully, the cats didn't destroy the house when we got back. We are still adjusting to reality, work and all that good stuff.

25. The local paper in Hilton Head polled the readers on what gun laws need to be changed. After reading the results, it became perfectly obvious that South Carolina is a dark red state. On that note, we were amused by a car we saw in the island more than once with a bumper sticker that said "Obozo." I am sure this person thinks the president should be impeached for unspecified crimes against humanity and has insisted for years that he wasn't born in the U.S.

26. I tried boiled peanuts for the first time. The person at the stand was nice enough to let me sample a couple before I got a $5 bag of them. Basically, peanuts are boiled in a brine rather than roasted. They are soft, and the consistency reminded me of chick peas or pinto beans. Although I wasn't repulsed by them, I didn't want a whole bag. I think the guy at the stand put it best when he said "It's a Southern thing." At least I can say I tried them.

26. We ate at a Burger King twice during our travels - two times too many. It's worth paying the extra money to go to Panera, Chipotle, or even to the evangelical zealots at Chick-Fil-A.

27. I avoided Facebook and the Internet while on vacation, instead deciding to read. I even took FB off my phone. I am glad I did this, because I was just getting too angry at everyone. I will use Facebook to keep up with friends and post family pictures and funny things, but I am done with political ranting. This will be difficult, because one particularly moronic meme asked where Obama was after the Dallas shootings. Think about how wrong and stupid that is on so many levels. Anyway, I realize I won't change anyone's votes or opinions no matter how much I bitch and moan. I just have to hope and pray that common sense will prevail when Americans go to the ballot box in November.